Remember that dorm-room couch you had in college? The one you bought for $50 from Goodwill that had hideous upholstery with putrid green undertones, which you tried to re-cover by tucking a blanket over it, but the blanket always slipped and sagged and left part of the original fabric exposed? So you jazzed it up with strange throw pillows and hoped no one noticed how left-by-the-side-of-the-road the whole thing looked?
“Actress” Kestrin Pantera is the embodiment of that couch:
[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]
I particularly enjoy the massive boots, which — if you stare at them — appear to be giant thick shoes around which she wrapped some fabric to make it look like she stole the hats from two royal guardsmen in London and is stomping around with them over her feet.
Comments (82):
I don’t know who this girl is, but this outfit is so over the top that it is actually pleasing. I think she’s some sort of secret genius.
Why? Why would she wrap fabric over a perfectly good pair of boots like that? Im TRYING hard to see the point. Alas, I cannot. And its hurting me to look at them
Is she wearing a bath mat as a coat? Ocean Blue, Shag. Matching accessories available at Sears.
Is it only me, or is that “cottage cheese”?
Ew.
I agree…I think this outfit is a brilliant ploy by her publicist. Now, instead of random girl who looks a little like Kate Beckisale, she looks like she simultaneously skinned a muppet, mugged Lenny Kravitz, and lost her mind…Nicely played.
How many stuffed animals died to create this outfit? Even one was one too many. I guess you don’t make a ton of money when you play “Reporter #1″ in Surviving Eden.
It must’ve been raining (she IS taking off the coat, after all) and she taped pieces of Hefty bags over the boots to protect them. Seems obvious to me. But I think she did forget her pants: a pair of those nasty, shapeless cords from the thrift shop in baby diarrhea yellow. With a cigarette burn hole on the ass she got at the John Mayer concert.
OMG OMG OMG – my jaw dropped when I saw those boots. Like some disastrous cross between Ugg boots (“ugh!” is right!) and the hats worn by the Queen’s guards.
But you know I’m going to go Google “Kestrin Pantera” right now to find out who the hell she is. No publicity is bad publicity?
She looks an awful lot like Ali Larter, except way less adorable…
Dear God,
Please let the whole Boho-chic thing go away soon. Oh, and help out all those tsunami victims too.
Amen.
I like it. Other than she needs to be wearing some nylons or stockings or tights or something. She looks fine.
I think if she was wearing a completely different outfit, one that didn’t look like a group of blind fashion designers dressed her, *then* she would look fine.
As a Halloween outfit, though, it’d be FUUUG-tastic!
She is obviously a poacher who recently struck gold at an amusement park. Didn’t you read about that poor mascot they found? He had been skinned and his feet were missing. It really was tragic. I think Green Peace or PETA is going to get involved. But don’t worry, Mickey Mouse has been taken into protective custody. They are using Donald Duck as bait.
the dress reminds me of my high school punk-rawk days in the early 90′s, before Nirvana came along and ruined everything. its sort of cute, in an a ugly way, but too short for those pasty thighs. eeek- those boots-im shrinking in horror.
No dissin’ pasty thighs! Pasty and proud, yo!
I actually like the dress OK… but on down it’s a train wreck.
OMG! My grandmother had a couch that looked *exactly* like this, making me wonder if Heather came over to visit one afternoon while she was still alive.
Are those boots legal?
They’re are pretty hideous. What comment software is this?
Whiney bitch-o-matic-3.2
She really gambled at the poker tour with this ensemble. I’m glad I can’t see the boots with my aged monitor.
Lovely.
Mrs Mogul, the comment software we use is just whatever comes integrated with Typepad.
Zoe, you humble me with your earnest prayer.
Myself, I find that the existence of those boots has shaken my faith in God. How can God be real, and those boots be real, at the same time?
I can only assume that the boots are a delusion of Satan, sent to test me.
She looks like the lady that I avoid on the orange-line subway every morning. The subway lady has a peculiar “perfume” one could call it, sort of a patchouli/body odor/organic fug scent that accompanies her hippy/furry (some naturally-occurring fur) look. I don’t like this. This makes me mad. I have to go sulk now.
Is it just me, or does she look like the love child of Mary-Louise Parker and Kate Beckinsale?
After a perusal of Kestrin’s website (www.kestrin.com) I’m kind of in love with her. Email her. She’s a simultaneous cello player/vocalist who’s hoping to rock out with rad musician friends.
You know that scene in Halloween where Michael Myers has just butchered the guy with the glasses in the kitchen? And the guy is hanging on the knife, against the wall, all bloody and gurgly and dying and Michael stands there and looks at him and just sort of *tips* his head to the side while he watches him die?
That’s how I was just staring at these boots.
>So you jazzed it up with strange throw pillows and hoped no one noticed how left-by-the-side-of-the-road the whole thing looked?
Haaaaa haaaa! Spot on. Lord, some people are just *asking* to be fugged.
You know, my daughter wears outfits like this ALL THE TIME!
But then, she’s three.
And she calls them “costumes.”
The wisdom of children.
What is she wearing on her feet? What??
I didn’t even notice the rest of her outfit.
Maybe her two small children didn’t want her to leave in that horrible dress, so they latched onto her lower legs in an effort to prevent her from leaving, and instead of prying them off she decided to just wrap them in black furry fabric.
actually i’m oddly fond of paisley but the dress’s colors are just hideous together, and the paisley amoeba-thingies are a trifle too large for my taste.
also, i didn’t know one could buy a paisley couch.
Is looking like a Clydesdale the new trend? I think I must have missed that memo.
scrolls down the page: “ugh, bad dress…holy sh*t what are those thing eating her feet?!”
I think the dress has the potential to be cute over jeans, the coat is fugly, but then I scrolled down…
I’m trying so hard to…what the…are they platform Docs? Are they covered in shiney velvet?…velvet garbage bags?…What?…What are….what the hell are those things on her feet?!!?!?
Bad photo, bad clothes, on her website she is a major babe. If her website is to be believed she is living an interesting, exciting adventure of a life. Yup, I hate her.
Actually, yes, EVERYONE wants to be a clydesdale right now. Applications are available at our website. Don’t Drink and Drive!!
Is looking like a Clydesdale the new trend?
oh, now I have to pee from giggling too hard!
I think we are all missing the most important question. How did she walk in these? Is there video?
I’m pretty sure she’s wearing the couch my friends and I had in our dorm last year, and then threw in the dumpster the day we moved out. Also the jacket is made of the furry pillows that we thought looked cool in the store, but soon realized were actually VERY ugly. Dumpster diving is sooooo 1992. Doesn’t her stylist know that?
Herman Munster just called and he wants his boots back.
Those are the same boots that Jay used in his Project Runway show last night. I smell a REALLY scary footwear trend.
Well Jeez, notice the sign behind her… she is OBVIOUSLY at the World Hooker Tour…
King of Beers and Frank—Love your comments.
What did she do, jack a guy in a Wookie costume? As for the dress, it reminds me of one of those cheap paisley cotton bedspreads that Urban Outfitters was selling about 6 years back.
Someone has to start telling these women that just because the article of clothing covers your crotch, that doesn’t automatically make it a dress. Yeesh.
Oh no! She forgot to put on any trousers! How embarassing.
Those British guards you allude to? Are called Beefeaters. I don’t know why. It has homoerotic connotations, though. HOT.
I have to come down on the whole “it’s so bad it’s good” side. Although those boots are scary.
Someone should send this picture to http://manoloshoes.blogspot.com/ for inclusion in the
“The Gallery of the Horrors” that the Manolo maintains for all the world to see of fugly shoes!
Oh god, remember that Cure video from the mid-eighties, for the song Spiderman, where Robert Smith gets eaten by a “thousand million shivering furry holes”? That video freaked me out! I think that’s what’s eating her feet.
Shivering furry holes are the new Uggs.
I never knew you could get semi-camel-toe in a dress.
Those things over her boots? I remember those. There was a girl at my high school who wore those. The first time I saw them on her, I didn’t get it either, because it was COLD outside (late Minnesota fall) and she had them on with a mini-skirt. Of course, hers were neon green and she was very well known for taking way too many drugs (ecstasy being the main one).
If it’s so cold that you can’t comfortably wear a short skirt outside, but still want to wear the skirt, either suck it up or put some pants on underneath. It’s less crazy looking that whatever these are.
Land of the Lost. She just needs a club and a hairy back.
it’s quite obvious what’s going on here. she thinks she’s japanese. the sad thing is, not even they could pull this off.
“kestrin pantera” is a hoax! i thought the name sounded fishy so i grabbed a piece of paper (star magazine) and worked out the anagram (on a pic of usher dressed all in white. i wrote it on his crotch, because, what hasn’t his crotch been used for?). kestrin pantera = spanked attire! and from the look of her legs, someone’s had a go.
p.s. or kestrin pantera = “trek are in pants” and it does kind of look like she hangs out at sci-fi conventions, but i really, really, really do not want to go there.
She’s a walking tribute to the Exxon Valdez disaster. The bottom half represents the giant oil slick in Prince William Sound, the coat represents thousands of black, oily waterfowl and the dress represents…ummm…the dress represents…why you shouldn’t consume alcholic bevarages before operating an oil tanker. Or a closet. Whatever the case may be.
Fugliest. Footwear. Ever.
scottish terriers are swallowing her legs! probably because she’s wearing a coat made of their kin.
Obviously she doesn’t have a good poker face. Thus she has to wear the monstrous shoes that grab all attention, letting her bluff happily.
the woman clearly doesn’t have a stylist (or style for that matter) but she could at least stretch to face powder. if she’s going to have a major wardrobe dysfunction, she could at least tone down the shine.
she looks like Kate Beckinsale before the extreme Hollywood makeover.
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
No words…
http://www.kestrin.com/StarMonsterRecentComp.mov
Reading the bio on her website made bugs crawl through my veins. The horror! Examples:
“She plays cello and sings (simultaneously!) Performing, recording in Los Angeles. Thank you, Music.”
“She plopped in Los Angeles in 2003.”
“Started studio sangin’, age 9, continues to do so today.”
Sangin’? SANGIN’? Sweet Jesus, woman.
I confess, I went to the website to see who the hell she was. (Pity me.) On her resume, under “Interests”, she lists “pronoia” first. And then she points out that the world really is out to get you, which makes me think she’s actually interested in PARAnoia. One can’t help but surmise that this young woman’s career, whatever it is or will become, would be advanced by the careful use of Spellcheck and its wardrobe equivalent — Fugcheck.
Reading the bio on her website made bugs crawl through my veins. The horror! Examples:
“She plays cello and sings (simultaneously!) Performing, recording in Los Angeles. Thank you, Music.”
“She plopped in Los Angeles in 2003.”
“Started studio sangin’, age 9, continues to do so today.”
Sangin’? SANGIN’? Sweet Jesus, woman.
According to her ‘resume’: “At a recent Beck show, Kestrin was invited to perform onstage and rock out and dance like a complete maniac. Which was REALLY fun.”
Funnily enough, on my resume, I put things like qualifications, jobs, etc but Kestrin obviously likes to include social engagements in the absence of anything else.
and yes, the semi toe is quite an achievement in a loose dress.
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
I see these boots all the time here in fashion district, NYC. the grossest is in the snow they gather Iceballs and get grungy. Awful fashion trend created by skinny tall girls trying to make their legs look BIGGER. yikes
Maybe her footwear is new line of “ugh” boots… “Extreme Ugg”, for the adventurous fugster…
Please, dear Baal, rain your fiery destruction upon us now, for lo! we poor sinners have come so low that aspiring starlets vie with each other to see who can dress the most like an elderly alcoholic homeless woman.
Yes, send your Messengers of Doom to raze our civilization to the ground and erase from our minds forever the sight of young, supple, surgically enhanced women wearing outfits that seem to have come from Audra Lindley’s closet, yea, verily, even from outtakes of “The Golden Girls.”
O, sweet Baal, Lord of Burning Death, pluck out mine eyes and sear my brain so that I may never, ever, ever have to see another young woman clad in upholstery remnants, Muppet-fur, and those horrible overshoes that Grandma used to buy from the ads in the back of the “Farmer’s Almanac”.
Seriously, what’s next? Right now, I’m expecting to see someone wearing one of those transparent plastic rain bonnets on the red carpet at the Oscars.
I thought that was Kate Beckinsale when I first opened the page…anyone else see the resemblance? Other than the fact that Kate dresses better, anyway.
Actually, pronoia is a word. Not a real word, not like cat or omnibus or fug, but like a psycho-word. It can be linguistically construed as the opposite of paranoia, but it’s also an ideology. You all OBVIOUSLY did not take the time to read Kestrin’s manifesto. No link because everyone already has kestrin.com bookmarked anyway.
Who makes those boot things? I mean, clearly they were designed by SATAN, but whose name is on the label? I want to know, because knowledge is power.
no, you want to know so you can firebomb the place.
my guess is that they’re designed by jessica simpson. they have that air of class and sophistication about them.
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
Oh, I would NEVER do a thing like that, Lucky!
*innocent cherub face*
*gleaming halo*
*lighter fluid*
Perhaps her next role could be in “Austin Powers and the Spy that Wore Shag (and an old couch.)”
Firstly, those shoes are not meant for humans. Unless you’re a Japanese anime character or a Japanese girl, they should not be on your feet.
Secondly, I’d like my pillow case back. It’s partner is crying for it’s mate.
Who the hell is this person? No, seriously.
As for myself, I’m retiring from the position of lurker. The fugosity of these boots compels me to speak out. Hello all!
“Please, dear Baal, rain your fiery destruction upon us now, for lo! we poor sinners have come so low that aspiring starlets vie with each other to see who can dress the most like an elderly alcoholic homeless woman…” (followed by more brilliant prose)
I.
LOVE.
GOD.
HUMOR!
And this was a magnificent example.
Thank you for your heartfelt prayer. I join thee in the bowings and scrapings and such. Then let us speak in tongues.
She looks like she’s standing in two buckets of tar. I can smell the fugly.
“She plopped in Los Angeles in 2003″?
She’d be arrested for that action over here in dear old Blighty.
I never have liked paisley and I like it even less now.
“Seriously, what’s next? Right now, I’m expecting to see someone wearing one of those transparent plastic rain bonnets on the red carpet at the Oscars”
On their feet? That’ll be a sight
Hello sjsb, welcome to bitchworld!
I have bad news for you fellow fuggers – Jordan (she’s the Brits answer to Pammie) and Peter Andre have bred and there’s a sprog on the way.
So, expect plenty of preggie-belly-stretched-skin-below-super-enhanced-silicone-boobs on show in your glossy mags for the next few months.
*gulps*
I love that you put “actress” in quotes. Because really, there are so many of them running around calling themselves that, but what do they really *do*?
See, this is what happens when Transformer robots mate with humans. She obviously inherited the feet of her Transformer-parent, and has to wrap them haphazardly in fabric to hide that they’re metal. Maybe someday metallic UberUggs will be in fashion and she won’t have to hide any longer.
If Sasquatch, an Anime babe and a Golden Girl fought to the death…
i’m thinking she looks like a clydesdale!
I think it’s quite an unique outfit and she still looks cute so why the bitching?.
I have those boots. They are impossible to walk in, kudos to her for making it two steps without falling. I actually like the dress. I think she needs to lose the coat and boots. I even admit the boots are awful, I wouldn’t leave the house with them. I tried to sell them on EBAY, but sadly nobody would bid.