SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Jeremy Irons

“HELLO AMERICANS!

I am respected actor Jeremy Irons! You may remember me as the guy who was awesome in that movie where I’m married to Glenn Close and she ends up in a coma and it MIGHT have been my fault, or maybe from that movie where I’m totally creepy twin gynecologists! I was GREAT in those and you probably think, when you think of me, ‘Oh, Jeremy Irons! He’s a wonderful British actor, and when he’s not playing roles in which he does totally creepy stuff to women, he works in poncy British costume drama!’ And that’s ALL TRUE. But now, I have a new role! In a show coming to YOUR American television sets. That’s right! It’s called Old Irons’ Sides, and I play a
crime-fighter with multiple personalities who has the ability to morph into whichever personality is best suited to the crime in question. For example, here I am in costume as his personality ‘Marlton’, who’s what you’d get if Carson Kressley and Chuck Norris had a baby. He’s really good at tracking down people who default on magazine subscription and KICKING THEIR ASSES. Anyway, the show is going to be really riveting, I’m just saying. It’s going to change all your preconceptions about me. Check it out! On The CW, of course.”