Sweet Fugs

You’d think after all the ridiculous uproar over her admittedly INCREDIBLY HEINOUS MOM-JEANS, Team Simpson would have had an emergency pow-wow and realized they needed to get poor Jess — formerly the jewel in their money-making crown — some help. Girlfriend CAN NOT DEAL with putting clothes on her bod, and if this is in fact the work of a paid professional, said professional needs to be fired like a flame-broiled Whopper. Giant platform heels + white corset + flannel + Spearsian-style, over-taxed cut-offs = FAIL. Let’s all visualize for a moment: put J Simp in jeans (flattering, regular jeans) and she’s already looking sixty-five percent better. Daisy Dukes are not ALWAYS the answer, no matter what movie roles you’ve played. Won’t someone STEP IN and give this girl a hand?