SWINFUG

“Most beloved Totem of Fug: You have served me well, O Master. You have born in me a legend, a superheroic and hypnotic hold over observers of all things fugly, and tirelessly molded me into a deep badass. Thank you for my destiny, and for helping me start my campaign for the 2010 Fug Madness by wearing something Rainbow Brite’s psychic would put on for a reading. I eagerly await your next orders, Beloved One. If you need me to sacrifice something other than my own closet — say, a twit like Paris Hilton — you have but to ask and it will be done. All Hail.”