In the category of Most Half-Assed Movie Poster Ever, I give you the new front runner.
Where to begin?
a) If you don’t have enough celebrity faces to fill a grid, and have to use a placeholder consisting of of stock photos of people embracing and booze, then DON’T MAKE A GRID OF CELEBRITY FACES.
b) If you’re going to go against all common sense and what I just told you, and make that hideous grid of celebrity faces, maybe use photos from the actual movie and not, like, random pictures of Ashton Kutcher that you got off LiveJournal and a screen grab of Hilary Swank from PS, I Love You.
c) I look forward to reading the email Lea Michele has surely sent SOMEONE about this monstrosity, in which she rails about how she has been rendered literally unrecognizable. Because her face has never looked like that. Ever. That picture looks like it was flipped to be a mirror image of itself. We all know what Lea Michele looks like (pretty; prone to hilarious fierceness) and this is not it.
d) To Jessica Biel, Ashton Kutcher, Hector Elizondo: you are currently over your limit of Movies Named After/Set During Major Romantic Holidays. If you were playing the same character in this movie as you did in Valentine’s Day — perhaps the worst movie I’ve ever seen on a plane, and that includes Employee of the Month — then we would give you a pass, but you are not, according to IMDb. If, at any point in the next forty years, any of you appear in movies titled Mother’s Day, Labor Day, or Arbor Day, you will be asked to leave the 310 area code immediately and be banned from ever returning. (Note: should you be cast in a remake of Independence Day or Halloween, you will be allowed to appear before a council of your peers [currently consisting of James Van Der Beek, The Rock, and SWINTON] and make a case for special dispensation.)
e) To all celebrities everywhere: the only people sincerely delighted by the prospect of a movie with THIS MANY PEOPLE in it are the ones who work in PR and those of us who know that, at the very least, the premieres will yield some useful photographs for our blogs. Everyone else finds it exhausting. Word to the wise.
@lzbtheiae 
Fug the Poster: Lindsay Lohan
Okay, I mean, first of all, I obviously can’t wait to Fug the Fromage of this shitshow:
No offense, Lifetime: I am just assuming it’s going to be a shitshow because…Lindsay. And I basically WANT it to be a shitshow. If it’s surprisingly great, of course I will be thrilled, because I secretly would love it if LiLo would stop driving around clipping pedestrians with her Porsche and getting kicked out of hotels carrying a $46,000 magazine and PPV fee, and go back to being an actress rather than a cautionary tale. But the worst case for this movie — and for Lifetime — will be if it’s mediocre. People are going to tune in (IN DROVES, I suspect) hoping for a total scenery-chewing clusterfiasco (this blog is rated PG-13) and Lifetime wins if that happens, OR if it’s surprisingly actually good. They lose if it’s serviceable. So, Lifetime, if the movie is looking decent but not fantastic in the edit bay right now, my advice is to start throwing in all of Lindsay’s worst takes.
All that being said, I actually think this poster is kind of smart. Is it really, REALLY on the nose in attempting to compare Lindsay to Liz? Yes. Is it kind of offensive to compare Hot Ass Mess Miss Lohan to Liz Taylor, who had serious personal problems but who was ALWAYS a consummate pro at work? I am pretty sure Taylor is digging her way out of her grave with a diamond-encrusted shovel right now so that she can march into someone’s office and throw a martini into the face of the person who approved that idea. Is it eye-catching? Yes. Does Linds look serviceably Elizabeth-y? Sure. Am I chomping at the bit to set my DVR? Yes. So….well done, Lifetime. BRING IT.
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