Fug File: animal print

Fug or Fab: Nicola Roberts


Let’s start with the close-up, this time:

Well, look: who hasn’t woken up and thought, “I wonder if TODAY is the day I get to wear my bejeweled cat-face crotch ornament?” And so rarely the answer is yes. It’s sad. So this is truly a moment of celebration for Nicola “I was in British girl group Girls Aloud that will never break in the States, but I’m loaded, so who cares?” Roberts. Let’s see the rest of it:

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Fug or Fab: Michelle Williams


We got several emails from people about this look, and almost all of them said, “I’m not sure if I OUGHT to like this, but I DO.”

I think it helps that I have grown to really like her — probably because she handled the whole Heath Ledger tragedy with such great maturity and grace, at least in the public eye, and never ended up on the cover of Us Weekly being all, “MY SECRET PUBLIC PAIN” or whatever — and also that I know the mega-blonde hair is because she’s currently filming a biopic about Marilyn Monroe, but I like this too. It’s modest without getting matronly, quirky without being obnoxious, and retro without being too overwrought. Bonus: I love those shoes.

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Fugging Up With The Karfuggians


[Photo: WENN.com]

KHLOE KARDASHIAN: God, I hate it when they make me pose with you.
KIM KARDASHIAN: Why? We’re sisters? We, like, love each other, and stuff!
KHLOE: Because I’m tall. And when they put me next to you, I look like I just landed here from the Planet Gargantua, where they roll giants off an assembly line for the purpose of world domination and getting down the food processor from the really high shelf in the kitchen.
KIM: Oh. But if we don’t pose together, then how will people enjoy our kooky animalistic prints? 
KHLOE: That’s true. We went to an awful lot of trouble to look like we’re being strangled by the  home-furnishing accessories available in The Sims: Gigolo Hut.
KIM: Maybe one of these drooling people can let me use his back as a stepstool and then we’ll just crop him out and slip him $5.
KHLOE: No. I’ll just squat for a second and then run like hell.
KIM: That’s like, totally brilliant, Khloe. 
KHLOE: I know. I’m the smart one.
KIM: Really? Are you, like, sure it’s not me?
KHLOE: Yes.
KIM: Okay! If you’re the smart one then I’m going to take your word for it that you’re the smart one.
KHLOE: And that’s why I’m the smart one.
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Miley Fugrus


The caption attached to this photo noted — diplomatically if not with great historical accuracy — that Miley is sporting a “Native American-inspired look.”

[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

And that sound you just heard was every Native American reader of this Web site vigorously typing a press release (addressed to the entire world) in which s/he makes it VERY VERY CLEAR that her ancestors DID NOT and NEVER WOULD HAVE worn leopard print leggings. and that, in fact, they reject any connection with Miley, Billy Ray, and any Cyruses to be named later.

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I Got a Fugging!


You guys remember that Sweet Valley High book where Elizabeth gets into a motorcycle accident and then she’s in a coma and then when she wakes up from the coma, she thinks she’s Jessica, and this leads to her acting all slutty and letting Bruce Patman — that cad! — touch her boob, and she doesn’t snap out of it until she, like, rolls off a sofa and cracks her head on the coffee table, and the force of it like KNOCKS the Elizabeth back into her? Of course you do. It’s only like the best SVH book ever.

Well, somehow they managed to keep it from the press, but judging from this picture, Fergie just woke up from a coma, and now she thinks she’s J Lo. Further proof: she wore this en route to sing the national anthem in Miami with Marc Anthony. IT’S OPEN SEASON FOR BOOB-TOUCHING, CADS OF HOLLYWOOD. At least until Josh Duhamel gets close enough to rip that hat off and clock her with something.

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Paz Fug la Huerta


Paz de le Huerta is my current front runner for The Person Who Gets WAY Farther In Fug Madness Than Anticipated, a la Amber Rose:

I mean, look at this. SHE IS MAJESTIC, like the animal whose skin she sports. I would not at all be surprised to see her lick the back of her hand and start grooming herself.

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