Fug File: ANTM

NYFug.com: Tyra Is Our Own ‘National Treasure: Book of Secrets’

Nov 20, 2008 By Jessica AT 11:11 am

And now Top Model is over. Our Wednesday nights at 8 just got a little less booked (thank god: juggling Pushing Daisies, Top Model and Bones was starting to get to me. What kind of monster expects you to choose between Tyra Banks, David Boreanez, and baked goods?).  Too bad this cycle didn’t go out with much of a bang. Well, unless you’re counting Tyra’s spectacular finale wardrobe. And we are:

“Heather: And the SECOND ONE, with the sharp shoulder pads … somebody wants to be Joan Collins.
Jessica: I also thought she sort of looked like she had just beamed down from the mother ship.”

I know what you’re wondering: But how did National Treasure: Book of Secrets play into this? I wish I could explain that myself. It just DOES. Read and comment here, my gentle readers.

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NYFug.com: Odds on ‘America’s Next Top Model’

Nov 19, 2008 By Jessica AT 1:09 pm

At last! The Top Model finale is upon us! I’m sure you’re all very busy right now in preparation — reassembling your shrine to Tyra, practicing your runway strut, and sacrificing that goat — but when you get a moment, you could always take a break and check out our prognostications:

“In the editorial corner there’s the edgier McKey, whose quirky, toothy
smile might not sell Land’s End turtlenecks but is exactly what Tyra
means when she says “pretty-pretty” isn’t always “model-pretty.” Her
pictures have improved to consistent greatness, even with the hideous
makeover that looks like a drunk stylist ran amok with some shoe polish
and a Flowbee.”

If you get a hankering to read and/or comment on the whole kit and caboodle, you can find it here.

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My Fug Brady

Oct 20, 2008 By Jessica AT 11:35 am

I occasionally look at Adrienne Curry and think, “I, ret’s SO WEIRD that the first ANTM winner married Peter freaking Brady.” It’s like the D-list version of Joey Potter marrying Tom Cruise.

The rest of the time, of course, I’m looking at her and marveling at how understated she is.

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Fugged Over Lady

Aug 15, 2008 By Jessica AT 12:59 pm

It is no secret that ANTM’s delicious Jade is one of our favorite reality show contestants. Anyone who spontaneously erupted into spoken-word poetry accompanied with snapping fingers as she exited the show is a treasure to be cherished. As is this particular ensemble:

A spangled bra top, perhaps nicked from a belly-dancing costume, worn as casually with jeans as a tank top? I feel a haiku coming on:

Amuse me, Jade Cole
Bra top with jeans? Whatever
You want. Please snap now.

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Well Played, Tyra Banks

Aug 14, 2008 By Heather AT 10:41 am

It shocks me to say this about anyone with crimped hair, but… I think Tyra Banks looks pretty great here, actually:

[Photo: INFDaily.com]

I mean, this is a woman who usually looks like she plucked her gown off a window in Versailles, or as if she is actually an aristocrat Marie Antoinette’s court who is about a week away from a sweaty revolutionary giving her the chop for her excesses. She is also prone to coifs that look like an homage to a fruit bowl. And that’s just scratching the surface. Tyra Banks is nothing if not a comparative science, and I have to say, this simpler dress with all the bracelets is refreshingly chic and sleek after all that hoo-ha. Sure, the material lays a little lumpy in places, but… seriously, whenever I have second thoughts about whether this dress is worth a pat on the back, I click back on that link to what she wore to the Daytime Emmys and it’s an affirmation. Yes, I cherish Tyra for all her overwrought excesses — hers is in my top five of Wig Closets And Wardrobes I Must Visit Before I Die — but sometimes it’s nice to see a reminder that there’s a lovely woman underneath all that hair and slap and pounds of fabric.

poll by twiigs.com

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Fugbrey F’Fug

Jul 28, 2008 By Heather AT 1:15 pm

Seriously, is Aubrey O’Day bored? I thought she was taking a break from Danity Kane to do Hairspray. Are you telling me she has no time to work with the band that made her famous while she’s on Broadway, but she DOES have time to hang out at TRL and chit-chat all the time wearing dresses with built-in capes?

Maybe not the best use of her time. I’m just saying.

This is, however, better than any of the t-shirts, headbands, and briefs Aubrey is selling (because these days pretty much any person with a Mystic Tan account also has a clothing line). We should all say a quick prayer of thanks that Aubrey has decided not to run around town hawking her own wares. But the tragedy of it is that ANTM winners Jaslene and Caridee were dragged into the fracas. It’s like Aubrey’s only editorial directive was that all the girls should hang open their mouths in a semi-drugged stupor:
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