Fug File: athletes

VMAs Well Played Carpet: The Fierce Five

Sep 7, 2012 By Heather AT 7:30 am

Well, now we know why none of them were at Fashion Week yesterday.

I guess I’ll allow it.  They all look so lovely. Sadly for her, McKayla is the one whose outfit is the least — wait for it — impressive. (Actually, I keep thinking someone’s going to stick her in a corner until a Swayze lookalike scolds them for it.)  But it’s so fun to see them all wearing heels — can you imagine Gabby Douglas next to, say, Dwight Howard? I hope they got a photo together with her in bare feet — and spruced up in stuff that doesn’t necessarily involve shiny spandex and hair glitter and whatnot. I hope they’re able to stop for five minutes at these things, look around, and drink it all in, because otherwise they’re going to wake up in six months and go, “Wait… hang on, what all did we do again?”

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Serena Williams

Aug 24, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

One of the reasons I love the Olympics is because it’s a giant reminder that being a strong, muscular, athletic woman is a glorious thing, and that the human body is capable of so much more astounding and aspirational things than trying to fit in sample sizes and going on juice fasts and racing to lose your baby weight in three weeks. It’s like an ode to achievement over pure aesthetics (although the aesthetics are nothing to sneeze at, obviously). That’s one of the reasons I’m fond of the Williams sisters, too — sure, Serena’s temper can overwhelm her common sense sometimes, but she rocks every hard-earned muscle.

Also she’s a total fox. Sometimes she can crazy it up with her clothes, but when she gets it right — like she does here; this ENTIRE thing slays me in the best way — she commands the room. Or the sidewalk. Or the famed Letterman dumpster:

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Fab It Up: Maria Sharapova

Aug 22, 2012 By Heather AT 11:00 am

“Unfug” is not exactly the right word here, because I actually don’t think this is fugly. But “Lessfug” isn’t as catchy. So I went with how to make this even better.

I  love the idea of the red leather and the way it’s cut, but for a summer party in honor of Hamptons magazine, doesn’t this seem a little… constricting? And maybe sweaty? It’s the neckline that’s nibbling at me more than the sleeves — somehow it’s making her seem boxy, and so very covered up when it’s so very August. Ergo, while I quite like this and might even have loved it in another circumstance, I am wondering if she’d look even cuter if the neckline were gentler, or it were short-sleeved/sleeveless. Sure, it’s Valentino, but can’t she call them up and make outrageous demands? Isn’t that the fun of being a celebrity?

I would...

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[Photo: WENN]

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Fug or Fab: Maria Sharapova

Aug 21, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

Do you think Maria Sharapova makes Anna Kournikova sad — you know, when she thinks about her from the bath she’s taking in her piles of money? Because I feel like Sharapova became everything Kornikova was supposed to be — a gorgeous Russian tennis powerhouse — with the added bonus of ACTUALLY being a tennis powerhouse. On the other hand, Kournikova has been intimately involved with a man who sang a romantic song to a bag of Doritos, and that is a treasure beyond measure.   I guess I just like the idea of Maria being Anna’s emotional Eve Harrington, and I hope she takes up dating a man sporting a famous mole just to continue the trend. I can’t think of one off the top of my head, but you know he’s out there.

As are her boobs in this outfit, which she wore to see Jimmy Fallon:

I don’t hate it as much as I ought to, considering that the dress is trying to force her to recreate Janet Jackson on the cover of Rolling Stone (personally, I prefer my clothing to force me to be Control Janet, because then I can make so many more, “… if you’re NASTY” jokes). But I definitely don’t like it as much as I do this:

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Fab the Olympics: Synchronized Swimming

Aug 13, 2012 By Heather AT 8:00 am
Natalia Ischenko and Svetlana Romashina of Russia
Natalia Ischenko and Svetlana Romashina of RussiaAnna Kulkina and Aigerim Zhexembinova of KazakhstanNayara Figueira and Lara Teixeira of BrazilNayara Figueira and Lara Teixeira of Brazil
24 photos in gallery

Wherein the Russian women DARE you to make a “Who’s BAAAAD” joke as they moonwalked all over the competition, thanks to this thriller of a routine they would not stop until we got enough. PYTs, somebody is watching you; do not beat it, for you rock my world. Also… um, Ben.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug and Fab the Swimmers: Speedo parties and beyond

Aug 8, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm
Ryan Lochte
Ryan LochteRyan LochteNathan AdrianElizabeth Beisel
8 photos in gallery

We’ve amply covered their awesomeness when they are wearing their skin, but what of America’s Most Lusted when they’re clad in things other than lycra and abdominal cheese graters? The party circuit will tell us.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash]

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