28 photos in galleryYou may be thinking, “Wait, Leelee Sobiewhatski? Do I care?” So I encourage you to think back. Not, like, Jungle 2 Jungle back, but perhaps to Deep Impact, which has the distinction of being a worse asteroid movie than Armageddon (which is saying a lot, as the latter includes a diagnosis of SPACE DEMENTIA). Or to Eyes Wide Shut, where Leelee seemed to talk without actually opening her mouth. Or to Never Been Kissed, which I unsecretly hate because Drew Barrymore’s character is SO AWFUL and EMBARRASSING, and shoots SO FAR past adorably nerdy to painfully socially impaired, that the mere fact that Michael Vartan would find her intriguing instantly invalidates him as a human being; or, famously, to Here On Earth, the teen angstfest involving a love triangle between — get ready — Sobieski, Josh Hartnett (!), and Chris Klein (!!). If you had placed a bet back in 2000 on which of those people you would see the most in 2011, you’d probably have picked one of the guys, right? Me too. Color me surprised that they are off being lemon farmers, or whatever, while she is back on the circuit and getting Baby Joy love from the tabloids.
All of which is to say: By now, you are maybe kind of curious about what became of ol’ Leelee over the years. As was I. And there are few things that scratch an itch as well as a dig through some photo archives. Behold.
Shania Twain: A Fugstory
It took Shania Twain coming back on the scene to make me realize how much I missed her. Not musically, necessarily — although the woman who penned the lyrics ““My panty line shows / Got a run in my hose / My hair went flat / Man, I hate that / Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse / I realized I forgot my purse. With all this stress I must confess / this could be worse than PMS” desperately does need to write a song with her esteemed countryman Bryan “Have You Ever Really, Really Really REALLY, Like REALLY, For Realsies Really Really Loved A Woman?” Adams — but rather, fashion-wise. Did you remember how wackadoo Early Shania was? She’s totally the precursor to Carrie Underwood’s coat-capes and Rihanna’s… Rihannaness. Take a walk down memory lane with me. Bring Advil.
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