I kind of love that InStyle took the girl on fire and effectively put her on ice.
Fug File: InStyle
I didn’t even realize that InStyle was doing subscriber covers until I noticed that the copy that was sitting on my coffee table looked different than the one I’d just seen at the market. TRICKY, INSTYLE. But did they even need to branch out? Let’s look at what they did to Drew Barrymore and Kate Bosworth this month and discuss. Hint: I truly think Drew has never looked better, like, as a person. Remember those years where her eyebrows were just OUT OF CONTROL?
[Covers: InStyle and my iPhone]
I’m not always entirely sure what InStyle’s deal is anymore.
Every time I picked it up, which admittedly was last a very long time ago, it was definitely a magazine for Ladies Of A Certain Age Who Have Lots Of Disposable Income, and then beyond that, Oglers Of Whatever Age Who Wish They Had More Disposable Income (yo!). Kind of like Marie Claire or Allure or Elle (Marie Alle) for rich ladies who don’t care if the person on the cover has a strangely blank stare. So I can’t figure out why Selena Gomez makes a lick of sense on this publication’s cover. She’s trying to grow up, sure, but she’s not there yet — and as long as she keeps being linked to Justin Bieber, her adulthood is going to be a hard sell — and so I can’t imagine she tracks too well with the target demographic.
Beyond that, she has succumbed to InStyle‘s recent rut of looking frozen and stiff even though they clearly shoved a wind machine in her face to try and give this some spunk. (Instead, she just looks like she’s fighting to keep her eyes open because there is a freaking wind machine in her face.) She’s clad in the Stella McCartney jumpsuit we last saw on pneumonia-riddled Jennifer Lawrence during awards season, also, which… it’s not the worst thing ever, but it’s not really HER, either. Selena Gomez is just much cuter than this, and also much more LIVELY, and since I can’t imagine InStyle‘s core reader really cares that much about her input on falling in love again or breakup songs or fashion advice, the whole thing comes off like a doomed experiment.
I love the idea of a bright cover, and all the saturated rainbow colors and whatnot.
But when I look at Zooey, I think two words: Brenda Walsh. From the cut of her hair to the fact that, due to a combo of position and lighting, one side of her face looks suddenly lopsided in a way deeply reminiscent of Ms. Shannen Doherty. She also looks bored, fatigued, and maybe a little smug about how bored and fatigued she is. Like ennui is the new black — or, I guess, the new red. Seriously, the big red dress with the bow, and Zooey’s natural personality, could’ve combined for a really lively cover and instead it’s like they shot her while she was leaning against a counter taking a smoothie break.