Fug File: lamé

Well Played, Abigail Spencer

Jan 14, 2011 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

Last time we featured Abigail here, the only nice thing I could say about her is that she’s a pretty girl. That still holds true:

But I can ALSO add that I love what she’s wearing. It feels like a page out of Demi Moore’s book, and in this millennium, that’s been a rather successful tome. I hope Abigail doesn’t delve further back in Demi’s archives and derive inspiration from the time she wore bike shorts to the Oscars. I don’t care how many Livestrong bracelets people buy: Lance has not made cycling THAT much fun.

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Megan Fox

Aug 11, 2010 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

Or, as I call her now, Mrs David “You Are So Precious To Me” Silver — wait, except, does that make Megan Fox the new Tori Spelling? Something about that doesn’t quite track.

For one thing, it would be weird for Tori to have a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe in the approximate place where Dean McDermott has a tattoo of Tori. Like, I think that if Tori gets a person’s face tattooed on her arm, she is contractually obligated to get Dean’s. Or, I guess, David Silver’s. Wow, thinking about this too hard is sending me down some kind of post-modern tattoo rabbit hole, so let’s get to chit-chatting about her dress. Or dress/skirt. Whatever it is. I have to admit, I rather like it: it’s nice to see someone wearing something that’s NOT just a standard issue cocktail dress, even if I happen to LIKE standard issue cocktail dresses. Kind of like how if you have a cheeseburger five nights in a row, you might really want a salad on the sixth night, without taking anything away from your love of the cheeseburger.

poll by twiigs.com

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Fug or Fab: Anna Kendrick

Jun 25, 2010 By Jessica AT 1:00 pm

It must be SO WEIRD to be Anna Kendrick right now. She was nominated for an OSCAR and then she has to pop back over to the Twilight movies, where she generally has approximately four lines. It’s like if Clooney got his role in ER, but still had to finish up a few episodes of The Facts of Life. On the other hand, it’s probably a low key affair for her, and she has been, historically, EASILY the funniest person in the films. Probably because she’s talented. And because her character often thinks Bella is acting like a total nitwit at the times when I most think Bella is acting like a nitwit, so I can relate to her — beyond the fact that her character and I share a name.  But it would be hard for a lot of people not to think privately, “THIS IS ABSURD. I AM AN OSCAR NOMINATED ACTRESS. WHAT AM I DOING AT THIS SHINDIG?”

Well, wearing a very shiny, ruffly dress, for one thing. It’s a bit like what might have happened if Jada Pinkett Smith had decided to bronze her Tonys dress. And while this has a certain Eau D’Upscale Gift Bag, I do not entirely hate it.

poll by twiigs.com

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FUGONIC

Jun 9, 2010 By Jessica AT 2:00 pm

Dudes, what is going on with Xtina?

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Because, from where I sit, it looks a hell of a lot like desperation. Desperation, and the groundwork for a yeast infection, judging from the tightness of those hot pants. Honey, don’t you think you’ve got enough problems? 

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Logies Fug Carpet: Mindi Jackson

May 3, 2010 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

Mindi Jackson here is in Rogue Traders, which Wikipedia refers to as “a British-Australian dance-electro band,” and I don’t think we get them here in the US, although that description DOES sound fun. However, Wikipedia ALSO informs me that Mindi stepped into the band to replace Natalie Bassingthwaighte, who is one of my absolute favorite celebrities simply because of how brave it is to have that many consonants in one name. Mindi, though, might have been wise to learn from Natalie Bassingthwaighte’s culture of excess vis a vis her name and applied that same excess to her dress:

Holy cow, lady! Those things are about to make a run for it! I’ve seen more fabric in a napkin.

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Fug Fug You Fug Fug, XOXO, Fugsip Fug

Sep 10, 2009 By Heather AT 9:17 am

MISCHA BARTON: Hey, Taylor.

TAYLOR MOMSEN: Hi, Mischa. How are you feeling?

MISCHA: Well enough to wear unflattering formal shorts!

TAYLOR: Aha! So you’re back to normal.

MISCHA: I thought I was off-limits for criticism due to my recent, very sad mental trauma.

TAYLOR: Oops. You are.

MISCHA: Thank you.

TAYLOR: Although now you’re claiming it was wisdom-tooth pain and not any deep psychological pain, so maybe you’re NOT off-limits after all.

MISCHA: Well, just to be safe, let’s leave me alone for a while and focus on YOU. Because you have problems.

TAYLOR: I do?

MISCHA. HONEY.

TAYLOR: … I guess I AM wearing a really expensive tube top. Like, REALLY expensive.

MISCHA: You look like a bad special effect in Twilight. Please pull yourself together before you, too, suffer from heinous wisdom-tooth pain.

TAYLOR: I’ll think about it. But first, I HAVE to ask you one more thing.

MISCHA: Fire away.

TAYLOR: WHY is your new show called The Beautiful Life: TBL? What is that about?

MISCHA: Isn’t it AMAZING? They should change your show to Gossip Girl: GG.

TAYLOR: Are you joking? It’s like an extra-stupid reversal of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. I mean, hello, by the time we get to the colon, we all already know what “TBL” stands for.

MISCHA: We do?

TAYLOR: … What did you think the colon-TBL was about?

MISCHA: I thought it was, like, the airport code for a REALLY EXCLUSIVE private airstrip in New York.

TAYLOR: … Yeah, I think we’re done here. Seriously, I’m glad you’re okay. Stay strong.

MISCHA: Thanks.

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