Fug File: makeover madness

Fug or Fab the Temporary (We Think) Makeover: Dan Stevens


Okay, y’all, let’s discuss Matthew Crawley.

Here he is as we all remember him: blonde hair, baby blues, slight smirk, Man Most Likely To Start Talking About Boring Modernization of Estate Management, Man Whose Career Decisions Doused The Burning Loins Of An Easily Embittered World.

And here he is now, thanks to another career decision to play a heroin dealer:

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Fug or Fab: Elizabeth Moss


Check it out: another makeover. I’m not sure if this is new, or just escaped my notice when she did it.

It’s like she got herself into bangin’ shape, so she went nuts and hacked off all her hair and put herself in a skintight nightie, as if to say, “TA-DAAAA.” I applaud her on the bod, lament her choice of shoes with that dress, don’t ENTIRELY hate the frock as much as I should considering it’s essentially a tailored slip, and can’t decide what to make of her head-suit. Let’s zoom in:

When does Mad Men shoot again?

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Fugly Cyrus/Fug or Fab the Makeover


I don’t feel weird spotlighting these Twitpics because: a) they were also made available by a professional photo service, and b) Miley Cyrus has eight million Twitter followers, so clearly, she’s not going to feel like we’ve hijacked a precious private moment. You don’t Tweet something you don’t want the world to see, unless you are incredibly misinformed as to what Twitter is. And she’s no social media dunce, so obviously she felt good about that shirt. Which… says a lot. Really, this is a backdoor into the topic of her new hairdo, but bless her for sharing it with the world along with some really terrible outfits. Keep bein’ Miley, yo.

The hair?

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[Photos: Bauer-Griffin]

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Fug or Fab: Kim Kardashian


The breakup bangs have arrived, folks.

I don’t necessarily think these bangs are REAL — Kim Kardashian, at this point, seems like someone who is way too business-focused to do anything to her appearance that can’t quickly be undone (like, say, by pulling out a clip) — but they are here. And I actually don’t hate them on her. What distracts me MORE is how totally fake the REST of her hair looks. I want to chop it off around her shoulders and give it some loose waves and then see where we are with the fringe. The outfit… well, the outfit is tight, white, and puts her breasts in the spotlight, just like 60 percent of the things she likes to don. It might work for her, but it doesn’t look all that comfortable unless her plan was to ring in the new year by putting her lungs on a diet.

And then there was this:

keep up with me

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Well Played, Katy Perry


This is so awkward. It’s entirely possible Katy and Russell would have come to this together anyway, but now that they have divorce rumors to thwart, every time they show up as a pair people are going to think, “Oh, are they doing this HONESTLY, or because they HAVE TO or else the press won’t shut up?” And yes, I realize I am part of the problem. But I come from a place of love — I actually like these crazy kids together and want it all to work out as well as I think her hair and outfit did. Come see, with a little bonus body-language speculation. Sorry. I can’t resist. In fairness, I would have made much the same comments without that divorce rumor, so there’s that.

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Fug the Makeover: Jenna Dewan


Let’s just quickly remember what Jenna Dewan looked like the last time I saw her anywhere:

Very pretty, very recognizably the star of such luminous hilarity as Step Up (seriously, I think someone told Rachel Griffiths it was a comedy; there is no other explanation for why she decreases the volume DURING each of her lines so that they all end in a whisper), very nice skin, generally very naturally attractive.

And here’s how she looked this weekend:

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