Fug File: Misc. Awards Shows

Logie Awards Fugs And Maybe Like One Fab: Thanks and You’re Welcome, Australia


Whenever the Logie Awards happen, all our Australian readers e-mail or Tweet to make sure we’re aware and that we’ve seen the photos, and to beg us to take their local TV personalities to task. And who are we to refuse that sort of important request? We LOVE taking people to task, and we love random TV personalities, and we ESPECIALLY love random TV personalities from other countries that require us to look them up on Wikipedia and then summarize the information in selective ways. But fear not, Non-Aussie Readers: Jessie J and Katy Perry made appearances, so you can bask in the soothing glow of familiar fug along with all the atrocities committed by the unknowns. Wasn’t that kind of Katy and Jessie? Let’s thank them with some snap judgments.

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SAG Awards Fug or Fab Carpet, Plus DGAs: Jennifer Lawrence


Jennifer Lawrence is great in Winter’s Bone, and I am honestly thrilled to see some awesome but lesser-known actresses actually getting awards love. It gets boring when it’s all Renee-Nicole-Hilary-Kate Winslet all the time, in, like, a never-ending cycle of movies about Nazis. I am also obsessed with how sometimes she looks like Hayden Panettierre and sometimes she looks like a young Lisa Kudrow:

I also am somewhat amused by how no one told her she didn’t have to do this just to show us the slit in her skirt — she did it on the red carpet with Giuliana, too! She was all, “It has a SLIT!” And then she stuck her leg out. I love her for that. It’s so….natural. I mean, it looks highly unnatural in photos, but it’s so unstudied in a weird way for someone to think, “I love the slit on this dress. I’m just gonna keep STICKING MY LEG OUT so everyone sees it!” It makes her look like she hasn’t had too much media training, and there’s something refreshing about that nowadays. That being said, you look crazy if you keep sticking your leg out all the time, and I think, Jennifer, that you’ll be happier in the future if you just keep your legs where they land most of the time.

About the dress: I love the color, a lot, and….yeah, I’m distracted by the leg slit, but I think I’m going to come down on the fab side. I also liked what she wore to the DGA awards, which, from what I understand, may actually still be going on:

I’m just KIDDING!

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Soul Train Awards Fug Carpet: Elise Neal


I know the CMA Awards were last night, and we’ll get to that, but first we had to STOP THE FICTIONAL PRESSES for the following important announcement:

Elise Neal has invented the world’s first full-body panty.
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MTV Europe Music Awards Fug or Fab: Rihanna


I am trying to have an open mind about RiRi’s statement dress here:
Because, see, I don’t want it to sound like Rihanna can’t win with me — for one thing, fearless people like her keep things interesting, and for another, I like a statement dress when I feel like the statement makes sense and/or is flattering. And for me, this one veers away from that and more into the territory of a student art project called, “Toilet Paisley: When Charmin Attacks.”
There was a distinct homemade flavor to a lot of what Rihanna wore over the weekend.

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MTV Europe Music Awards Fug or Fab: Katy Perry


KATY PERRY: Hee! Get it? I’m married now! So this ticket only admits one person!
RUSSELL BRAND: And I am that one.
KATY: Whee!
RUSSELL: I am the touched soul granted entrance to the Pleasuredome. I have ripped my ticket and from it exploded my glee.
KATY: Right!
RUSSELL: I walked among mortals once, but now with passage into the vaunted kingdom of flesh, I am demi-god.
KATY: Uh-huh. Sure. Are we done?
RUSSELL: I have the card-key that lifts the bar to the parking garage.
KATY: So, what, you think my dress is kind of dumb, is that what this is about?
RUSSELL: My wand is brandished and willing, waiting only for me to claim my place at Lovewarts School of Magic.
KATY: “Lovewarts”!?!?? Did you think about that one before you said it out loud?
RUSSELL: My ticket comes with backstage access.
KATY: Okay, okay, THAT’S ENOUGH, we’re going inside and I am changing.

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MTV Europe Music Awards Fug: Eva Longoria Parker


By now — and she only wore this a day ago — I’m sure every “desperate housewife” joke has already been made, plus several suggestions that perhaps Eva is planning her free skate to Mozart’s Requiem.

Because seriously, who makes this ON PURPOSE? Did she have to call someone and say, “Okay, I want leg-of-malnourished-mutton sleeves, satin so heavy it will distort the Earth’s gravitational pull, a giant black tongue unfurling over my pelvis, and panels of illusion netting yoked by several stitched-together velvet garters and a zipper so clumsy that the back looks like a $2 rain poncho from Duane Reade”?
Oh, and also, she would’ve had to add that it must fit over hot pants Why? Observe:

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