Whenever the Logie Awards happen, all our Australian readers e-mail or Tweet to make sure we’re aware and that we’ve seen the photos, and to beg us to take their local TV personalities to task. And who are we to refuse that sort of important request? We LOVE taking people to task, and we love random TV personalities, and we ESPECIALLY love random TV personalities from other countries that require us to look them up on Wikipedia and then summarize the information in selective ways. But fear not, Non-Aussie Readers: Jessie J and Katy Perry made appearances, so you can bask in the soothing glow of familiar fug along with all the atrocities committed by the unknowns. Wasn’t that kind of Katy and Jessie? Let’s thank them with some snap judgments.
Fug File: Misc. Awards Shows
I know the CMA Awards were last night, and we’ll get to that, but first we had to STOP THE FICTIONAL PRESSES for the following important announcement:
Elise Neal has invented the world’s first full-body panty.
KATY PERRY: Hee! Get it? I’m married now! So this ticket only admits one person!
RUSSELL BRAND: And I am that one.
RUSSELL: I am the touched soul granted entrance to the Pleasuredome. I have ripped my ticket and from it exploded my glee.
RUSSELL: I walked among mortals once, but now with passage into the vaunted kingdom of flesh, I am demi-god.
KATY: Uh-huh. Sure. Are we done?
RUSSELL: I have the card-key that lifts the bar to the parking garage.
KATY: So, what, you think my dress is kind of dumb, is that what this is about?
RUSSELL: My wand is brandished and willing, waiting only for me to claim my place at Lovewarts School of Magic.
KATY: “Lovewarts”!?!?? Did you think about that one before you said it out loud?
RUSSELL: My ticket comes with backstage access.
KATY: Okay, okay, THAT’S ENOUGH, we’re going inside and I am changing.