Fug File: People's Choice Awards

God bless the Michalkas. If only Aly hadn’t tasted the success of Hellcats and Easy A, then these two girls would be in the running to replace the gone-but-not-forgotten Peldons as our favorite sibling duo. Seriously, are these kids at the People’s Choice Awards, or are they about to get up on-stage in Vegas at a nightclub called The Shimmer Tank and do a whiskey-sodden, smoky medley of Mandrell Sisters hits?

Unfortunately, believe it or not, a CW show (for Aly, on the left) and being in Seabiscuit (for AJ, on the right) automatically make them too employed to be Peldons. But there are echoes there. Like the kid in The Sixth Sense, I see Peldon People: Courtney could as easily be wearing Aly’s corset-jacket with semi-detached ice-skating sleeves (perfect for wistful reaching into middle distance during instrumental versions of Broadway songs), and my mind’s eye sees Brown sitting up late at night stuffing those giant sleeves with tissue paper and then spritzing them with hair spray to see if they hold their shape, glue-gunning the beads to her mesh waist basket just-so, and losing sleep over whether the neckline looks enough like an adorable inside-out homage to a priest’s collar. Oh, I miss those girls. They knew how to shop the hell out of those EVERYTHING UNDER $5 stores that are knocking off the places that knock off the stuff that Forever 21 is knocking off first.

And so I am at a crossroads: Do I root for them to climb out of their My Paycheck Is Not Big Enough For A Stylist But I Can Still Do Some Serious Damage At The Burbank Media Center Mall, or pray that they stay the course and end up marooned on Peldon Island? I think you all know the answer. Because life just isn’t the same when it’s 9 a.m. and I’m not screaming for Intern George to make me a gin martini.