Fug File: shoulder pads

Shut Up and Fug

Mar 5, 2010 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Well. This is amazing:

In the literal sense, which means that I am AMAZED BY IT: by the fact that she is wearing it, by the fact that someone made it available to be worn, by its very existence. This is mega, major, Grace Jones-style madness. Take a look at it, head-on:

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Fug file: WTF, , , ,
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Unfug It Up: Kim Kardashian

Jan 4, 2010 By Jessica AT 11:05 am

The first that struck me about this look was actually Kim’s purse, which at first glance I thought was a Diet Coke can she took on the red carpet, the way I sometimes bring mine into the shower. (Not really.) (I wonder if I could manage that somehow.) Then, I sort of took in…the rest.

I suspect that most of us, looking at this, found ourselves briefly transformed into a concerned-looking Tim Gunn, all furrowed brow and quizzical expression, followed by a statement like, “I’m concerned,” or, “that’s a whole lot of look.” It goes, of course, without saying that we’d all probably be better off if we were more often possessed by the soul of Tim Gunn — we’d certainly look nattier, and people would like us all more, plus we’d be a little extra awesome — so as being a conduit to allow strangers to infuse themselves with a little Eau De Gunn, this dress succeeds. As an actual DRESS, though….well, have you seen the back?

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Fug file: Unfug It Up, , , , ,
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Emmy Awards Fug Show: Blake Lively and Leighton Meester

Sep 21, 2009 By Jessica AT 10:19 am
BLAKE LIVELY: Hi L.

LEIGHTON MEESTER: Hey, B.

BLAKE: Am I showing way too much skin?

LEIGHTON: As usual. Boobs OR legs, remember, Blake?

BLAKE: I have the worst time with that.

LEIGHTON: We know. And your dress has an open back.

BLAKE: So?

LEIGHTON: You’re beating us about the head and neck with your hotness, when you really ought to just let it hug us tenderly.

BLAKE: I don’t know what that means.

LEIGHTON: Stop showing so much skin. For the 10th time.

BLAKE: Your turn.

LEIGHTON: Whatever do you mean?

BLAKE: Uh. Your dress is like way too big for you and you’re wearing shoulder pads that give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “don’t squeeze the Charmin.”

LEIGHTON: What new meaning is that?

BLAKE: I don’t know. It was the only toilet paper joke I could think of.

LEIGHTON: Bitch, please, this outfit is directional.

BLAKE: It should have directed you to a tailor. And what about your face? At least my makeup looks awesome.

LEIGHTON: Your hair doesn’t.

BLAKE: WE’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT YOU:

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Fug file: Awards & Galas, Crotchtacular, Dialogues, , , , , , , ,
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Unfug It Up: Rachel McAdams

Aug 13, 2009 By Jessica AT 11:29 am

Let’s talk about McAdams!

I….don’t….know. I really don’t. I mean, on one hand, I feel like she OUGHT to look worse in this. On the other, I also feel like the longer I stare at it, the more it looks like she’s wearing it backwards (though I’m sure she isn’t). On my mystical third hand (like the third eye, but more helpful for juggling), I feel like I’d LOVE IT if it were a color. On the fourth hand (borrowed from my neighbor), maybe I’d like the white more if she were wearing other SHOES. On the fifth hand (my neighbor’s second hand — I hope you’re following), thank god for double-sided tape.

So, I’m throwing it to the peanut gallery. What do you think: is it awesome? Should it be black (or blue or red or whatever)? Should she just scrap it? Play stylist, readers, in the comments — as always, please continue to be as delightful as you always are:

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Big Fug

Jun 2, 2009 By Jessica AT 11:53 am

THIS IS SO EXCITING. No, I mean it. Chloe Sevigny isn’t out and about as much as she used to be, and I started to miss her. She’s reliable — either she looks CRAZY or she looks AMAZING, and that’s all I really ask for. Something really wretched and terrible, something utterly batshit crazy, or FABULOUSNESS. Or the trifecta of all three at once. This doesn’t quite hit all points, but it IS delightful in its own way:

Who else would come out of the house looking like Mary Poppins from the waist up, and Leggs McGee from the way down? I mean, as far as I recall, there is NOT a scene in Mary Poppins where she goes out for a date with Bert in a rather scandalous — yet still demure — shorts suit, but maybe Chloe here is angling for an updated version. In her iteration of the Disney classic, “A Spoonful of Sugar” is mashed up with “Pour Some Sugar On Me” while Mary cavorts on top of a horse and buggy, and “Jolly Holiday” is actually remixed with Madonna’s “Holiday” while Mary takes Jane and Michael out to buy cone bras. I can almost read my angry letter now.

Fug file: Accessories to the Crime, , , , , ,
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Just Fug

May 7, 2009 By Heather AT 12:04 pm

So, I’ve been thinking.

[Photo: WENN.com]

And my conclusion is, despite whatever dumb salary dispute they’re having, I’m pretty sure Chad Michael Murray CAN’T leave One Tree Hill, because where is he going to go? Who is clamoring for his services, exactly? How will that show work if Lucas can’t squint with joy, or squint with pain, or squint while deep in thought, or squint in judgment, or squint in confusion, or squint with pride? And what other show, or indeed acting role of any kind, could accommodate that kind of deeply nuanced emotional range? Is he supposed to squint with concentration on CSI? Squint with lecherous evil on Gossip Girl? Squint with a popular kid’s disdain at the Buy More nerds on Chuck? I guess he could squint at the Squints on Bones, but then would the universe fold in on itself?

I just thought I’d ask. This seemed like as good a time as any.

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