Fug File: skin is not a shirt

Fug the Show: Secret Circle

Jan 5, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

This isn’t a full Fug The Show, and in fact, it’s an episode that aired around Halloween, so it’s a tad old. But I accidentally deleted it from my DVR and kept forgetting to go look up the screen grabs. Be grateful for the holiday lull, if you are the type of person who enjoys being aghast, because this shirt will do it for you. This shirt. THIS SHIRT.

Meet Faye, aka Phoebe Tonkin. She is the Mischievous Witch in the coven, and the one who always wants to use their magic for mischief, and makes this face at people a lot because she’s panting sarcastic or suggestive retorts in their faces. Frankly, I don’t really remember anything else that’s happening on this show except that (stop reading if you still haven’t watched the fall finale from six weeks ago) the blonde one is apparently descended from Ultimate Evil so she’s probably going to get tickled by the nasty bug. But that’s beside the point. In this episode, the girls were shopping for Halloween costumes. And it seems like maybe they’re just regular witches having a regular old close-talking squabble about boys and parties, right? Until we saw this:

you are going to love this

Fug file: Fug The Show, ,
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Golden Globes Well Played, Camilla Belle/WTF, Camilla Belle?!?

Jan 21, 2011 By Heather AT 9:00 am

We usually associate Camilla Belle with really edgy, ornate and intricate outfits, which are always very polished and of-the-moment and sophisticated, even if they’re frequently not quite our thing. So she surprised us a bit lately by going in slightly off-path in different ways. Let’s start with the Globes:

I don’t ever expect Camilla to go this basic, but it’s kind of a nice palate cleanser. This is kind of a cleav-tacular version of Emma Stone’s outfit — very simple, very sleek, but very pretty because it’s handled correctly vis a vis accessories and makeup. I probably will not remember this dress a year from now — unlike what she wore to the 2010 Globes, which totally stuck with me — but it served its purpose. I’m not mad at her, you know? It’s a froof sorbet, and I kind of needed one from her.

And then. AND THEN.

Somebody abandoned ship

Fug file: Awards & Galas, Well Played, WTF, , , , ,
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CMA Awards Fug Carpet and Good For You Performance: Gwyneth Paltrow

Nov 11, 2010 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

At first glance, I was like, “DUDE. Gwynnie’s waist is SO SMALL WHAT IS UP?”

Then I realized that what I thought was back-drop was actually still part of her body and Gwyneth has not started corseting herself into Scarlett O’Hara proportions — something for which we can all be grateful (especially, I suspect, Gwyneth) if only because this means we won’t have to sit through some crazy GOOP all about how GP’s trainer decided it would be a good idea to get her midsection looking more antebellum. All those GOOPs about exercise really harsh my mid-morning toast buzz — all I want to do is read Gwyneth’s take about where I ought to stay in Marrakesh over breakfast, not feel guilty about my lackluster work-outs. Anyhoodle: I have to admit that I actually don’t super-hate this, but it just seems like a LOT of skin for Gwynnie, what with the legs and the side-midriff and the bare shoulders. On J Lo, I would love it, but, darling amigos, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez are very different ladies and never should their stylistic twain meet, in my opinion.

I’m relieved that she went much more simple for her performance:
Read More

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Fugtoria’s Secret

Oct 21, 2010 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

Okay, FINE, Victoria’s Secret:

As long as you don’t expect me to wear it LIKE THIS.

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The Fugly Mr. Ripley

Aug 19, 2010 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

This picture is the best thing that has ever happened to me:

[Photo: Splash News]

Don’t you want to go party with THIS guy? It’s all chest hair and ankles and (spray?) tan and gleeful posing on the HMS Jude Law! I feel like when you’re out on the town with this dude, this is no shortage of champagne, nor — in my imaginings, at least — of snacks. There is much kicking up of heels, and rolling up of jeans. There is an refreshing lack of discourse on the subject of manscaping, and even less about the importance of having one’s shoes shined. You probably wake up the next morning feeling a bit worse for wear, but that seems like a fair price to pay, am I right?

Fug file: Man Fugs, ,
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Fug the Cover: Rolling Stone

Aug 18, 2010 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

ALEXANDER SKARSGARD: I have no idea what to do with my face here. I guess I’ll just make the Joey Tribbiani, “how YOU doin’?” expression. I mean, I am naked and holding a leg in front of my junk. I should look like I’m wondering how you’re doing, right? This is weird.

ANNA PAQUIN: STEVE, YOU’RE SQUASHING MY BOOB.

STEPHEN MOYER: Sorry! Sorry. Sorry, we’re both just so short and I’m scared we’re about to fall off this apple crate they’ve got us standing on and I think I accidentally started using your boob as a handrail. I’m really sorry, peaches.

ASKARS: Oh, I know what to do with my face! BLUE STEEL! God, I knew I was in Zoolander for a reason…. No, yeah, this is still weird.

APAQ: I guess….I guess I’ll do Blue Steel, too. I don’t know. I’m losing all the feeling in my legs.

SMOY: I’ve been waiting my whole life to unleash this Blue Steel on you! Check it out!

ASKARS: That’s, um….powerful, Stephen. We should send Ben Stiller a cookie bouquet.

APAQ: My legs are getting numb.

SMOY: Blue Steel. BLUE STEEL!

ASKARS; I hope we’re getting paid for this. 

Fug file: Fug The Cover, ,
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