I thought we were done with these.
Seeing a perfectly cute cocktail frock ruined by a mullet, wanting to chase her around with hedge-clippers until I can lop off the tail, hoping I don’t get arrested… I feel like it’s 2007 again and Carrie Underwood is singing about jacking some dude’s ride with her baseball bat.
[Photo: Getty]
The bad news is, Vampire Diaries doesn’t come back until October. The good news is, that’s because the CW wants to minimize reruns and/or off weeks, so once it DOES come back we can mainline it. That doesn’t answer the question of how we feel about this outfit, but at least I feel like we all worked through some TV angst together and found a silver lining. For the clothes, well, let’s take to the slides for a more thorough examination. I think I like this? I do not know why I am unable to commit just yet? And why am I uptalking? But I will note with certainty: I am in some serious unrequited love with those shoes — and I say “unrequited” because if they felt the same way, they would cost $99 and be available on Zappos.
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Switched at Birth is really a wonderful, wonderful show — it has great actors, innovative scenes all in sign language, interesting adult characters, and lots of good hair. I’m saying all this now so that when I get to the part where I both hate her shoes and am afraid they will come find me in the night and jam themselves up my nose until I beg for mercy, you will know I MEAN it, and not just that my bile valve is stuck on “geyser.”
[Photos: Getty]
“Word up, sex people. Welcome to the Bieb-0210, where we dress for the war zone that is my hotel bed — a.k.a., that place where I get out my incredibly heavy artillery and lay you down and do the things I read about in my mom’s Cosmo back issues, which I keep in a binder labeled ’50 Shades of HEYYYYYY.’ Selena is all, ‘WHAT? Nobody does that with Tabasco sauce,’ and I’m all, ‘DON’T THEY, SUGARFACE?’ and then she’s like, ‘Ugh, I need a beer,’ and I’m all, ‘GOOD ‘CAUSE PHINEAS AND FERB IS ON ANYWAY.’ Um, I mean, come and get up in my frisky business, ladygirls.”
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@kpetersnm of course not! - J
Kim Kardashian Learns Her Baby's Gender In New 'Keeping Up ...
6 photos in gallery
Teen Choice Awards Fabs and Fugs: Sparkly and Short
Also known as, the post where I alternately covet everything shiny and display an inability to deal with Kids Getting Older and wanting to show off more of their thighs. I’ll try to stay rational. FOR YOU.
[Photos: Getty, Splash, WENN]
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