Fug File: Teen Choice Awards

Has Leonardo DiCaprio A-listed the boobs and the legsly right out of Boobs Legsly (and thus officially verbed the term “A-List”)?

Okay, no, the boobs are still there, but we can’t even see their Prime Meridian, and there’s only about an inch or two to spare above the kneecap. Dearest Leo, why did you have to go and make her all respectable? Don’t you know we NEVER want people to listen to us, no matter how hard we clutch our pearls? Whatever will we whine and flail about when everybody in the world dresses sensibly? The price of gas? Our debt rating? Alex Smith under center again for the once-great 49ers? Surely, Leo, you don’t expect us to go and grow up and talk about actual issues. No. FIX IT, SIR.

Actually, though, I’m still not sold on this, on its own or with the shoes — she looks more Actress of a Certain Age Gets Arc On Gossip Girl That Involves Making Out With Chace Crawford, instead of Young Actress On Gossip Girl Who Made Out With Him First. It actually also reminds me of the Blake of Yore who would get stuff custom-made that still somehow didn’t fit properly. Because something here is just… off.

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