3 photos in galleryFirst of all, I’d like to note that I am ENRAGED and STUNNED that Beyonce did not pull out some maternity hot pants for this event. You KNOW she thought about it.
Fug File: VMAs
VMAs Well Played: Beyonce
Fug file: Awards & Galas, Photos, caftans, Hot Right Now, orange, sequins, VMAs, Beyonce
VMAs Fug Carpet: Kreayshawn
So, I guess THIS is what a Kreayshawn is.
She is, in fact, a horribly misspelled creation that you get from mixing Amy Winehouse, Charo, Lil’ Mama, the Cartoon Network, and an old cassette tape that came unspooled in the bottom of that shoebox under your bed. You know the one.
Fug file: Awards & Galas, VMAs, Kreayshawn
VMAs Well Played: Zoe Saldana
Sometimes Zoe Saldana is so cool, it haunts me.
Do you think she and Britney had a Crossroads reunion backstage anywhere? I hope they did. I imagine that Zoe looked at Britney and was like, “Wow, those are some sparkly shorts, but I’m glad you’re still alive and robust,” and Britney looked at Zoe and was all, “When did you become a singer, y’all? What are you doing here? Did they turn that ballet movie into an MTV series?” And Zoe just blinked and then said, “If that’s how you want to sum up Avatar, then yes.” And Britney was like, “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? AN AVATARD?” And Zoe was like, “Um, just kidding, let’s just say I crashed the party and I”m not a working actress anymore, so now we can go our separate ways real fast.” And then Britney hugged her and said, “Try marrying a backup dancer and maybe you can have all of this, too,” and then they were both like, “Also, can we talk about how Shonda Rhimes wrote Crossroads?” and they laughed and laughed and all awkwardness was forgotten.
Fug file: Awards & Galas, Well Played, VMAs, Zoe Saldana
VMAs SERIOUSLY? Carpet: Katie Holmes
“Hey guys,”
“I’m Katie Holmes. I’m wearing a cute dress, semi-horrifying shoes, and an invisible cape of intense desperation, subliminally pleading with you, the Youth of America to a) go see my new movie, Katie Holmes Pretends To Care About Her Career and b) to PLEASE CARE ABOUT MY CAREER AGAIN. I swear, I used to be a PERSON, not The Lady Married To Tom Cruise. Really! Find an old person on the street and ask them about Dawson’s Creek! SOMEONE BOUGHT ME A WALL ONCE.”
Fug file: Awards & Galas, Fug or Fab, VMAs, Katie Holmes
@DianaValerie How so? I wish we could afford to run the site without ads, but alas -H
VMAs Fug or Fab: Ashley Rickards
Ashley Rickards here is on MTV’s new show, Awkward, which I hear is really good. And I like her a lot from when she was — as Heather noted in the live-blog — Sophia Bush’s half-adopted teen ward on One Tree Hill who was never seen or heard from again after she moved…three blocks away. I don’t remember her being so TAN on OTH, but I think this is what happens when you are on a show on MTV. At some point, you show up at the studio for a table read or whatever and then Pauly D leaps out from behind a bush and bronzer-bombs you:
Let’s talk about the outfit. The awkward thing about being on a show called Awkward is that it leaves the door wide open for dumb bloggers (so: me) to make “AWKWARD!” jokes. As well as jokes that are simply awkward, which of course pushes us all into some kind of vortex of meta. I like the color. I think the shape is good on her. I appreciate the sort of 60s vibe. I am concerned that her clavicle has missed several laser hair-removal sessions and her aesthetician is going to give her that pitying-yet-horrified look they give you when you Let Things Go Too Long, the one where it seems like they’re wondering if maybe you’re depressed and they need to intervene.
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