Take Me To Fuggis

At first glance, this photo just looks like Paris Hilton is taking the gardener to the prom:

But then you look closer, and you realize you are stepping into a really vapid vortex of self-obsession:

Sweet LORD, Man-Paris, get a grip. Why are you wearing that out in public? When you’re WITH her? I’m happy you’re proud of her, and that you think her bod is bodacious, but save it for a time when she’s not standing next to you in some kind of bizarre before-and-after tableau. Perhaps Girl-Paris is actually in the act hustling him out of a party, because she is, like, a totally hott businesswoman now, and the only way partial nudity will make people take her seriously is if she’s slobbering all over a hamburger.