Something about this bodice — seriousky makes it look like a frowning insect with very long droopy feelers.
I swear I’m not on any medicine. Stare at it for a while and you’ll see. Pretty soon you will feel its bitterness. It just seems angry at me. Look, Crabby Insect Gown, it’s not MY fault Scarlett has a fantastic body and is doing absolutely NOTHING for it by wearing you. She didn’t ask me. And I don’t even know if YOU are, empirically, the problem. I think it’s just that her ex-husband is cavorting around with Boobs Legsly being “captured” by paparazzi in completely random places where you know the paparazzi do not go unless someone with a schedule has called them, and thus I kind of want her to throw that in his face by strolling around at her prescribed appearances looking drop-dead fab. And the path to that, I’m sorry to say, is not through YOU, Cranky Bug Bodice. At least not today.
[Photo: Getty]
Comments (46):
Her face says “yeah, I know, I KNOW!” How the hell can mere fabric make this woman look this bad?
Bwahahahaha. I don’t have anything to add about the dress, but this post was seriously funny!
this looks like formalwear by Speedo.
A little tight around the hips, but I actually don’t mind it. It does look like it’s made out of bathingsuit fabric, but she can pull it off. Cool for the “black widow” too.
I don’t hate the dress; perhaps a necklace would draw the eye up so the bodice appears less droopy and sad. I *do* enjoy the disembodied arm that looks like it’s punching her in the ear.
I didn’t notice that the first time around so thank you for the second chuckle.
LOL, yes, thank you for pointing out the arm! Nicely spotted!
There is an unfortunate overlap with the pants of the guys behind her that is making her look pregnant. Which is not the fault of the dress, except for how the lines curving down from under her bust are adding to the effect. Otherwise, I think it’s pretty, if somewhat insect-adjacent.
Agreed, she’s looking plump and she’s far from it. The lines are not doing her any favors
If the dress weren’t so droopy and the detailing less strange, it would be great. Her face and hair look amazing.
I concur. I’m looking at her hair and makeup and I think this is what Kate Winslet thinks she looks like lately.
(I love the old Kate Winslet – the new, mid-life-crisis version who looks overly made up and severe while wearing tighter than skin-tight clothes saddens me.)
Oh Chasmosaur, thanks for this, it gave me a much needed and unexpected guffaw. Brilliant. I totally agree with you about our dear Kate. For me, it all started to go wrong when she started overbleaching her gorgeous hair and sadly , it’s just gotten progressively worse since. sigh. Thanks again for the laugh. awesome.
Does she have the weight of the world on her shoulders? Cheezus, stand up straight and hold your head up high. Just because you’re wearing an Insectus Giganticus costume doesn’t mean you need to slump around! Good posture can work wonders on a disastrous number such as this one.
Why? She is so pretty and yet here she is in a droopy beetle costume looking matronly.
Did anyone see it in motion? I kind of like the irredescence (sp?) at the bottom and wonder if it was all shimmery and pretty when she walked.
Maybe it’s just me, but when I first saw this picture I thought,
“Why does Diana Agron looked so pissed?”
She has been all Widow-Longoria for what seems like eternity and it’s time to move on with life. I just want to be like “ScarJo (yeah I know you hate it, I don’t care) if you LOVE LOVE LOVED Ryan so much why did ya’ll get divorced? Go out and date someone, preferably someone who doesn’t give off the “daddy-issues” vibe, have some fun, and for god’s sake put on something cute. OH and, why not at least attempt to choose a good script for your next movie. Seriously. And also, don’t put out another album.”
Huh, I didn’t realize I had such strong feelings about her until that just flowed out of my fingertips.
Yeah, didn’t she dump him for Sean Penn? HONEY. I’m not the one that made that terrible decision. It’s like it didn’t bother her at all that he was running around with Sandra Bullock (they are my dream couple. Ryan, dump the ditz and make this happen!) but the minute he started running around with Boobs Legsy, then she looks pissed in photos all the time.
The bottom of the dress looks pretty, though.
It’s a pity because I feel like this outfit could have been a winner with a more supportive bra. And a more interesting color. And some less invisible accessories. I think I just talked myself out liking this.
ScarJo is a lovely girl with a great figure, yet she has managed to drape said figure in funereal frump. Those lines really aren’t doing her any favors. No wonder she looks so depressed.
Maybe if the piping was a brighter contrasting color, or if the whole thing was done in shades of navy, or green, or burgundy instead of black on black.
I think she looks fantastic. And, she is playing the Black Widow in the Avengers movie, so maybe it’s a nod to the fanboys and -girls. (It works on this one.)
This looks like its made out of the same awful black polyester crepe fabric that formed the basis of my ‘corporate’ work wardrobe when I first graduated from university in the late 90s – shudder!
“Stare at it for a while and you’ll see. ”
Once seen, cannot be unseen.
She looks preggers. Maybe the bug had something to do with it. Maybe she will give birth to a horrible human droopy frowny bug hybrid. And it will eat her. That would be cool.
I would feel worse for her if he were her ex-husband and not her ex-”husband.”
Honestly I think she should just steer clear of black altogether, especially in this incarnation. It does no favours to her (beautiful) colouring.
.. I’m surprised to say I disagree (I love the chorus of voices here and usually feel similililiarily.. (-:)
there’s something very BUG-gy about Art Deco, too- and the shape of this dress, the gorgeous hint of burgundy you can see at the flouncy hemline (wonder if the irridescence was more visible, in person), and her up-do and bare arms.. looks very Art Deco-y.
I think Scarlett’s body and face look lovely in ‘period’ costumes (Girl with the Pearl Earring, for ex. or even Bob Dylan’s video of When The Deal Goes Down..) so if you imagine her doing the Charleston, here.. ?!
ok. so the nail polish is a bit dark (for my taste) and maybe I’d have chosen a different bra.. but hey. I like it.
I think she’s kind of like Keira Knightley that way. It’s understandable that they don’t want to be “costume-y” all the time or to typecast themselves, but honestly, they just have bodies/faces that represent the ideal of beauty from a certain time period. It’s a little sad to seem them fight it.
Scarlett should probably just make peace with her inner Joan Holloway and Keira should just learn to love the 30′s.
what has been seen cannot be unseen.
now i have a craving to re-watch “A Bug’s Life” just so I can see insects with facial expressions.
I really like this! I wish she was smiling, but I like her hair & makeup, the dress and the jewelry! I think it’s FAB!
This is ill fitting and funereal..and as many of you fellow commentators have noted..frumpy! This from the girl whose comeback to those with different politial views to her is that they are ‘unfashionable’??? Oh dear….http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/22611/Scarlett-Johansson-sweater-vests-and-Ryan-Reynolds
I love you, heather. hilarious!
totally average & a bit cheap looking
Reminds me of Loki’s ridiculous helmet, which is fitting (sorry, I’ve got Avengers on the brain). The dress is alright, but for such a gorgeous girl, she could do better.
Seriousky
I think this is fine/feh, but she can definitely do better.
Actually, I find the cut interesting. It just doesn’t do anything for her particular shape.
I really like this dress and can’t see frump anywhere near it – if this is frumpy then my wardrobe (which lately I’ve been beginning to think is bordering on mutton dressed as lamby) is frump ground zero.
She’s just getting all clothing-subliminal and reminding us of her upcoming turn as Black Widow in the Avengers. The soles of her shoes totally say May 4th on them.
How did she manage to look that fat in this?
BAHAHAHA!!! I saw a Kung fu Master though…
hahaha!!! Fumanchu FTW! Me too.
It’s terrible ;( fug-worthy, sorry…
“seriousky”?
OMG — just snorted my coffee through my nose.
Yeah, it’s that angry praying mantis from Space Ghost Coast To Coast!
I think the fugness here is generated by the picture angle and the pose. But abstracting from it, I think all she needed to look fantastic was a little piece of neck jewellery . I love her elegant DIY ‘do, her complexion and how she doesn’t seem to be ashamed of having ‘body fat’. I admire her for not doing was Heather suggests she should do in response to Ryan & Blake pap-friendly hookup. I think in nowadays Hollywood, it takes a lot of class for Scarlett as a rising star to steer away of media pressure and keep her thing going naturally regardless of what or who her ex is doing. A fab for me.