The Fug Pimp

This man’s name is Archbishop Don Magic Juan. Which makes perfect sense, especially if that actually is a blinged-out chalice in his left hand:

His Holiness looks like the Von Trapp Family pimp. His poor mother will sure miss those pale blue curtains, but it was well worth it for the matching sombrero. Ol?ɬ(c), homeslice!

I’m guessing the theory is: The more uncannily he resembles a couch, the more chicks will splay themselves all over his lap. Llife must look better through those aqua-blinged sunglasses.