The Fugly Mr. Ripley

Dear Jude and Sienna,

We don’t care anymore.

Love, The World

PS: Jude, if any of us could be bothered — which, as I mentioned, we can’t be — we’d probably mention that you have got to stop it with the skinny dingy scarfs layered over low-necked undershirts. You do this all the time, and it makes you look like a grimy prevert.

PPS: Sienna, if I wasn’t totally bored of you and your stupid outfits and your on-again/off-again relationship with old Scrawny McMuffler, I might mention that your coat is totally cute. But see the body of my letter.