The Fugbournes: Reloaded

Say what you will about Kelly Osbourne’s usual Goth-ish look — and we have — I did actually LIKE the black hair on her. She has the most gorgeous porcelain skin, and when she didn’t cake on the makeup like it was nourishing her inner aspect, GOOP-style, I think she looked rather lovely.

So this disappointed me:

I object to Kelly’s hair bleach. For me, it
takes what was unusual about her and makes it ordinary. Her skin is
still pretty, but with her usual face paint and the hair that blends
right into her face, she’s less striking.

Not to mention: Kelly is 25. And yes, her fiance is younger, but together in this photograph they look like they’re auditioning for The Amazing Race as a mother-and-son duo wherein the mom is a secretary at the American Rock Groupies Union and the boy is an elf who jumped out of a Tolkein novel. It’s unsettling. I’m afraid Gollum is about to jump out of Kelly’s handbag with Phil Keoghan so they can say, “WELCOME TO MORDOR, Kelly and Luke, you are Team Number ONE.”