The Fuggit

SCARJO: Well well, Eva. We meet again.

EVA MENDES: Can you believe we’re both in this shitty-looking movie? The trailer is terrible.

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: I MOTHERF*&%ING LOVE IT.

SCARJO: Aren’t you going to compliment my outfit, Eva? Don’t I look better? Older?

EVA: Oh, sweetie. No. I mean, again, it’s FINE, but… red lipstick doesn’t make you look adult if you pair it with that hemline and that severe hair. Are you three feet tall? Is this your seventh-grade spring formal?

SAMUEL L.: GET THAT MOTHERF*&%ING HEMLINE OFF YOUR MOTHERF*&%ING SHINS.

SCARJO: Really? Dammit. There is no pleasing you people. At least the rest of it doesn’t look like a spotted bedsheet…

EVA: Well, I just knew I wouldn’t have to try that hard, because you’d do something weird and Samuel L. would wear velvet pants and I’d be the big winner no matter what. Plus, my shoes are amazing.

SAMUEL L: THOSE MOTHERF*&%ING SHOES SAVE THE WHOLE MOTHERF*&%ING OUTFIT. I AM MOTHERF*&%ING FEELING IT.

EVA: See?

SCARJO: I hate you all.