The Fugler

EVAN RACHEL WOOD: Hi, Marisa.

MARISA TOMEI: Have we met? OH! It’s you. Hey, Evan. What up?

EVAN: I know, I look different with this hair color.

MARISA: Yes. Yes, that is totally what I was reacting to. Hmm-mmm. Hey, let’s hit the open bar! Come on! Let’s stop talking now!

EVAN: You’re acting weird. Do I look okay?

MARISA: Me? Weird? No! No! Everything is GREAT. Great! I am basically pulling off this satin number and you KNOW how hard that is, so I am feeling good. Yes! Let’s go eat things and stop discussing what you look like.

EVAN: Is this because of those rumors that I was dating Mickey Rourke? Is that making you uncomfortable?

MARISA: No. Well. Yes. But that’s not what’s going on. Do you want to hear it, straight up? Do you want a ride on the Tomei Straight Talk Express? Is that what you’re asking me?

EVAN: I guess so.

MARISA: It’s your makeup. LOOK AT YOURSELF:

MARISA: That is TOO MUCH GOING ON. WIPE OFF SOME OF THAT CRAZY SLAP. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? YOU’RE LIKE A FETUS, YOU’RE SO YOUNG. AN EMBRYO. AN EGG. YOU DON’T NEED THIS MUCH MAKEUP AND NOW I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING.

EVAN: I…see your point. Thank you.

MARISA: YOU OWE ME A DRINK.