The Fugtember Issue

[Photo: Splash News]

SIENNA: Hello, Anna! Gosh, isn’t it wonderful to be together again!

ANNA: We meet again, Kate. How delightful.

SIENNA: No, no, not Kate Husdon.

ANNA: I know. You’re Kate Bosworth.

SIENNA: No, it’s Sienna Miller. I’m on the cover of the Vogue issue that’s at the center of your documentary.

ANNA: Oh, yes, the toothy one?

SIENNA: Er…

ANNA: With the unwashed hair?

SIENNA: I suppose so, yes.

ANNA: How lovely to see that you’ve showered, although you do look a bit like you’re still wearing the towel around you.

SIENNA: But isn’t it better than when I wore granny panties over my tights?

ANNA: At least those weren’t about to fall off, dear. I only do nipples on the runway.

SIENNA: Oh yes? Don’t suppose you’d tell me why you never paint your toenails? Or why those shoes reek of Payless? Or why your dress makes you look like you have a hunch?

ANNA: No.

SIENNA: … Oh, shit. Your dress is so loud, I didn’t think you’d be able to hear me.

ANNA: Enjoy this evening, my dear. For it will be your last.

SIENNA: … Your bob is still a beacon of shiny joy in an otherwise tainted, bleak world.

ANNA: Nice try, dear. I shall send a ham to your next of kin.