This Fugs Are Made For Walking

Jessica Simpson couldn’t be HAPPIER now that she and Nick Lachey are el finito, right? Just look at her!

I can think of several reasons why she looks so cranky, and none of them have to do with the destruction of her marriage!

1. her new huge crazy lips are seriously really painful and she kind of can’t talk or breath or eat around them.
2. she’s cold. I mean it — it’s been cold here in Los Angeles lately and she’s not even wearing a cardigan!
3. Kitson was out of Team Lachey shirts, but had piles of Team Simpson ones. What does that meaaaaan?
4. she just realized she’s wearing cropped leggings under an otherwise fairly cute dress. She was so close to being well-dressed! So close! And then….the leggings struck.  Will no one heed my warnings? The return of leggings will be the end of us all! First, it’s leggings. Then, we’re wearing polka-dotted bike shorts under florescent baby doll dresses and does anyone really want to be around for that? Again? If you’re that cold, THEY’RE CALLED PANTS.