Tony Awards Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Piper Perabo

Readers, why can’t I get on board with this?

[Photo: WENN.com]

Somehow, between the fabric texture and the cut at the bottom, I can’t shake the feeling that the hem of her gown looks like insect wings parting. Or as though she’s being slowly devoured by a dolphin that currently is savoring her ankles. Or as if something is giving birth to her feet. It’s just… I’m DISTRACTED by it. I don’t like to think about epidurals in the morning. Or ever, really.

This angle doesn’t help:

Now I’m just concerned that someone punched Piper in the gut, grabbed a fistful of fabric, and twisted it into an uncomfortable knot before sticking it there with a wad of gum. But maybe I’m just tainted by her pained facial expression.