I don’t really think it’s an insult to Elizabeth Banks’ looks to say that she doesn’t have what it takes to pull off this much dress.
[Photo: WENN.com]
She’s very pretty, and she’s got great legs, but if you’re going to go ombre AND drapey AND poofy bow AND swirly skirt AND mullet, you need to be downright striking to avoid being reduced to just a flesh hanger. I think an updo would’ve helped. And a mullet-ectomy. And perhaps a bow-o-plasty, leaving her with a cool strapless cocktail frock with a fluid neckline, and thus a better chance to shine.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that sartorial surgery would work. Case in point:
[Photo: Splash News]
This short cocktail dress doesn’t work, either. Although maybe that’s because the bodice is not so much gracefully floppy, as it is drooping, and the cut is not so much swirly as it is pear-shaped. Even SHE looks kind of pissed, like she knows she’s tromping through the streets of France in something that’s one wrong step away from falling off and exposing her Cannes to the world.
This blue one, I am not sure can be saved. But what of the other? What would you do? Hop into the comments and play fantasy nip/tuck — by which I mean, imagine what you might do to the dress, and not, enact your favorite Nip/Tuck fan-fiction. That is for a VERY different kind of Web site.
Comments (268):
Put it on Penelope Cruz. Or Cate Blanchett. Or any number of people who are not Elizabeth Banks.
Chop off the train and I think it would be fine.
I think the cocktail dress portion of it is lovely, so the mullet (drullet?) has got to go. Agreed on more of an updo. That and lipstick that’s just a touch more THERE, and she’d shine.
Stand up straight!!! Lose the shoulder thingie. Get rid of the off-center dip. Either chop the mullet off or turn it into a complete skirt. A sleek hairdo, pulled back without a part.
And send me the shoes and earrings. They would really kick my wardrobe up a notch.
What if you just cut the train off? The top is covered enough that it wouldn’t look too Boobs Legsley on her. If that make it too casual, make the skirt look like the train.
Chop off the mullet, take the skirt down to her knees. Much better.
I think ombre works best when it goes from light at the top to darker at the bottom. This dress is dark at the top and light at the bottom and it just confuses my eyes. So, for starters, flip the ombre, hombre. I would also make it blue. This color is like crusty dried pepto-bismol flowing into fresh pepto-bismol, a look to which no one should ever aspire.
Mulletectomy and bow-o-plasty should be immediately scheduled. She may need lots of anesthesia.
I know we do.
And has anyone ever talked to her about tan lines? They have a treatment for that too. So she needs a tanlinerization, stat.
I’d get a new dress.
The top one cannot be saved. Abort. ABORT!
The blue one: tighten up/ straighten the bodice, make the skirt straight, fitted, and longer (just above knee), with no slit. There. Now you look classy.
And then give me the shoes from the first dress.
On Miss Banks, this should be one or the other: cocktail or gown. Either way, I’d adjust the proportion of the bow-thingy (and the train, if she were to go the full gown route) to suit her size (and her “scope,” let’s say). Only the likes of Theron and Swinton are equipped for lavish shoulder accents, etc.
Very formal updo and floor-length skirt. Dye her roots and cover her tan lines. And teach her how to hold her purse less like it smells bad and she’s walking it gingerly to the trash can.
I’m not that much of a fan of the peachy shades of fabric but it would look stunning in a different colorway.
I would go with black strappy sandals and do away with the hideous black roots for starters. Up-do is a good idea, yes. Bracelet and bag are all wrong.
Drop the froufrou shoulder so it’s strapless; extend the train so it’s a full skirt. Then get anyone who isn’t Banks to wear it. Rachel McAdams could pull that off.
OR ditch the train, keep the shoulder pouf, put it on someone young and adorable. Natalie Portman could do the little froufrou cocktail thing.
Love the colour(s) though
I think the material of the first dress is pretty and interesting enough that it could have worked just as a simple, long floaty strapless gown. There is just way too much material and busyness the way she has it. Also, tan lines and fix your roots! Nice and easy does a root touch up that only takes 10 minutes!
If she stood up straight it would make a world of difference. Her head, shoulders, even her FEET are hunching inward as if to say, “Don’t look at me.” Fix the hair (it looks like she was at the gym and it fell out of a ponytail), put on some lipstick, and throw back those shoulders, girl! WORK that dress!
Make them both clean-cut sheaths and I’ll take either one. She doesn’t have the panache to pull off either of these cuts as-is. And I have to second (third? eighth?) the sleeker hair and slightly more lipstick.
I’m not arguing on any of the accessories, though. Girl is a winner in the shoes/purse/jewelry dept.
And now I want to see la Blanchett in the top one. As is. Just because I know we’d all snark on her and then admit, godDAMNit, that she totally pulled it off, train-mullet or no.
Enough with the mullet dresses for crying out loud. Seriously,no matter how well the concept is executed, it still just ticks me off. Long dress or short. Make up your mind.
And Amy, I agree. Girl needs to learn to stand up straight if she’s going to carry off a giant dress like that. I say, send the fabric back to the shop and make a whole new, less ridiculous dress with it.
I can’t tell much about the fabric of that blue dress but frankly from this shot, it looks like it would be more suitable for the beach. And it does make her look hippier than she actually is.
I just don’t think she’s tall enough to pull off this look.
Floor-length strapless, lose the bow and the train, et voila. Pretty fabric but, as you say, too much dress. And I agree with Lynne, enough with the mullet dresses, let them ride into the sunset with the ampusleeves!
Option 1: Make the whole dress floor-length
Option 2: lop off the train and add a few inches to the cocktail hemline.
The quality that she lacks is poise. Even in a dramatic dress that isn’t without its own charm, she seems charmless. A genuine smile and a confident carriage would go a long way.
The mullet dress is horrible in any incarnation!! seriously I have seen 10 dresses this week ruined by this cut. it never looks good. period.
I do love the fabric though…cut it off or fill it in, and somewhat reduce the bow/structure it a little…
I dunno about the dresses, but Banksy needs to work on her bitchface a little more. She’s giving hate, but not quite shank-you hate. It’s almost there, though! Keep up the good work!
I think just removing the mullet and giving her a cleaner, more “done” updo would fix it.
I wish I had Photoshop, so I could remove that shoulder bow, smooth out all that drapey stuff in the bodice, and make the skirt floor-length all around. That would be a whole different look and I think she could have pulled it off.
Off topic, I know, but did anyone notice LiLo’s skinned knee? Egregious as her leggings are, maybe she would have been better off wearing some, and covering up that boo-boo. It just makes me imagine her drunk and falling down.
If you have to do this much work to make a dress look semi-decent, it’s time for a new dress.
The mullet dress has to die, it is just all sorts of wrong and I haven’t seen one mullet dress that I’ve actually liked and we have seen a lot of them this year.
She also needs to work on her b*tchface- either go ALL out a la Reese, or don’t bother. The faces she’s making in these pictures just make her look unpleasant and mean. Which I don’t understand, because she’s in France. At Cannes. Why is she there?! (Kind of like, why is Kate B a Cannes judge?)
Maybe she’s mad because the salon couldn’t fit her to get her roots touched up.
You know who could rock the pink frock and make us say “Daaayyyuuummmm, girlfriend decided to be a lady today” and MEAN IT?
Rihanna. She could even pull off the mullet.
Also, Katy Perry would look very pretty in it.
I’d rip that dress off of her and slap her into a pretty, sleeveless, V-neck skimming black dress.
Yeah, let’s bash her for her tan lines. As the only actress who embraces her paleness and doesn’t spray herself silly (ahem, Lindsay Lohan), maybe we should enjoy that she doesn’t look like an oompa loompa and *gasp* gets tan lines like the rest of us. They probably aren’t even noticeable outside of a million flashbulbs. And Liz, get rid of that train and the frou frou on top and I think you’ve got a dress.
Get a new dress AND a new haircut. And while we’re at it, how about a new haircolor that compliments the roots?
And Val above is right, she’s to short to pull off this look.
Also her legs are ok but certainly not great.
Yeah, I think the first one is fairly unsalvageable. It’s just too much… EVERYTHING. However, I adore the blue dress. If the texture of the fabric was a little more sleek, I think it would be perfect.
And I really like the colouring of both dresses, I have to say. Even the pink suits her.
I know what you mean about it not necessarily being an insult. Some women are just served better by simplicity. I have long been used to the fact that my sister can pull off conceptual and edgy while I will always be a classic, preppy sort. She rocks all sorts of odd-looking dresses when we go out to dinner, whereas I am reduced to befuddled tears when not allowed to wear my converse.
The upshot is that I look generally better in casual situations- last time we went to the beach it was all I could do to persuade her out of wearing a pencil skirt. I had about five variations on the t-shirt/shorts look all ready and waiting.
Anyway, back to Elizabeth here. I would lop the train off the ombre number and that’s about it. I do love me a bit of ombre. The train is too much for such a petite woman- she should take her cue from Selma Hayek, who just about pulled off a weeny trainette without looking like she was sinking into the carpet.
The blue dress would be merely “meh” to me if it were not for the embellishment. I hate embellishment. I’m sick to death of not buying dresses because I’d have to pick a whole load of crap off the front before I get to wear it. After that it’s not great- I prefer a block colour, but I appreciate that sometimes a girl gets bored of block colour.
This could be saved:
1. Nix the mullet. Go cocktail length.
2. Reduce the bow-age by 75%, and snug up the neckline by about 10%.
3. Fix the roots- yikes!
4. Smile, you’re in Cannes for goodness sake!
I do like her hair, accessories, and makeup. The blue looks fine for a beach coverup, or to walk from the shower to the bedroom closet.
I just want to know who told her ‘clutch’ was not the type of handbag, but how she was supposed to handle it. What’s with the two hand hold? Are her clutches known for their Houdini-like escapes?
Also, the tan lines are NOT that bad. I’ve been to Cannes, and I know how bloody hot it gets, so I’m not going to judge her for slipping up when it comes to the factor 15. And I LIKE her hair- I don’t like all these slicked-back up-dos we’ve been seeing (yes you, Gemma Arterton/Anne Hataway), they always make me think the women concerned are death robots sent from the future to kill us all for the crime of having pores.
The first one – lost the train because that thing is atrocious. I actually sort of love it otherwise, shoes included.
The second one – I am not sure what event she was meant to be attending in the blue dress, so I am just going to hope that it was a more casual affair. It is ill fitting and by the look on her face, she seems aware of this. How to fix it? Well, for starters, does something that short need a slit that long in it? It gives it the look of a bathing suit cover up. The pattern could go, just leaving it in the dark blue with the detail around the top.
The fabric of the top dress is gorgeous, and it would have made a great dress if they didn’t use so much of it.
That is too much material to carry that muddy pink swirl. Agree with several commenters above – lose the train. I think without the train the bow might be okay.
What she needs to pull off the first dress is to maybe stand up a little straighter? Posture and attitude are everything. If she’s going to go with such a big, showy dress, she needs to “bring it” herself, which she is definitely not doing. She looks uncertain, which translates into how she carries herself.
As for the blue, Eh. Don’t like it, mainly because it’s rather boring. And again, she looks uncomfortable and miserable in it.
The first dress would look sooooo much better on someone like Charlize Theron who I think has the “gusto” to pull off the dress, as well as the height.
And though Elizabeth Banks isn’t exactly what you’d call “ancient” I think the second dress is too young for her and would look better on the likes of say Kristen Stewart or Amanda Seyfried.
I’d pick up the scraps left on the floor around the sewing machine, and turn it back into a bedspread.
you know what else doesn’t work?
HER ROOTS.
isn’t she a spokesperson for Loreal haircolor, ferpete’ssakes??
get thee to your colorist..drugstore..whatever
I like the colors, especially on her, and the swirl them make, but yes drop the train and leave it a simple dress. And please, please, comb her hair. It looks like it’s caught in the back of someone’s panyty hose.
Notice how she also delightfully matched her hair by going ombre with that dark stripe down her part! Well played. Although, that does not explain how the same hair job goes with the blue bedazzled number. Perhaps she should have rhinestoned her part for that one?
The pink dress: Take all that fabric in the train and turn it into a real skirt. Remove the bow, or fake flower, or whatever that thing is. Then wait till evening to wear it.
The blue dress: Well, this one needs not so much its fabric moved from point A to point B, as some more fabric. Come on, pretty prints aren’t all that expensive these days. I’m not sure in what kind of environment she was waering the thing. But a skimpy leg-flashing chest-baring sarongy cocktail dress outdoors in broad daylight, surrounded by people wearing everything from respectable suits to scruffy tourist shorts, looks “walk of shame” even at 3 PM.
I think the blue one would look better were she not in midstep.
I love the shoulder thingie! But lose the train and make the hemline a smidge longer. Maybe make the whole thing as long as the train.
Forget the dress, what’s up with those roots?
Wow, that’s a whole lotta dress. But I kinda like it. Somebody like Queen Latifah could probably carry it off.
Her hair needs some conditioner and a proper updo to elongate her neck.
The earrings are terrible. They look like they cost 24 cents from a vending machine. They need to be replaced with something less… pink, I guess (shrug).
The bodice is lovely, and I would leave as is. The bottom part is tricky: I hate the mullet, but I think the short length might be too casual for what she’s going for. I’d prefer an floor-length, fitted skirt with a slit up the front right (to show some leg and enable walking), and maybe a tiny bit of train/puddling at the back (to emphasize the drapeyness of the fabric).
So I took this and did a quick and sloppy PhotoShop removal of the train, and I think the dress is actually pretty cute with just a mullet-ectomy. The shoulder foof is not too much when it’s not competing.
One thing that really jumps out after the treatment is how much her slumpy posture seems to be caused by her attempting to stand up while dragging that much extra dress. With no train she just appears to be leaning weirdly to the left in defiance of the laws of physics.
So my fix is: lose the mullet so you can stand up straight and quit holding your purse like a counter-weight and it’s not bad at all.
Take off the mullet and I think this would be a lovely, lovely dress. One that I would even wear, were I invited to the kinds of events that would allow such sartorial choices.
I think the ombre is beautiful. Personally, I’d make it a sweeping gown and quit trying to make it a cute short dress. Different shoes, fer sure, and, yeah, probably a different actress inside.
(Think she’s trying for an ombre hair effect as well? For crying out loud, it’s Cannes! People will be photographing you. Get your hair done!)
hack off the back train part!
i just had to comment on mischa….for all our griping about her clothing, the dress wasn’t bad, especially considering she is a bit heavier and needs to camouflage/cover up more.so well done with the dress. maybe we should just take one or the other and run with it!
I think with a sweeping, classic updo the pink ombre would be gorgeous….
…. on Zoe Saldana.
Isn’t she a spokesperson for a hair dye?
Lose the dark roots!
And the dress. And the sour puss.
that pink dress cannot be saved because the smoke color recalls her roots. ugh.
unrelated, i LOVE that cannes gives all of us a gfy an opportunity to hear more from the mouth/ego of jlo. swak to you, fug girls!
I was going to sit back and think of a brilliant renovation for this heap of garb, but after looking at it for two seconds I decided it would be a waste of time.
start over. this woman is too beautiful for both of these creations.
The big dress is hopeless, and the horrible ombre makes it extra extra hopeless. The little blue one, not bad really, just haul it up on the left there.
lose the train and the floof on the shoulder, make it strapless and the ombre dress is gorgeous
Dude, why so harsh on Elizabeth Banks? She is TOTALLY “downright striking!” The pink dress is just fug. Mulletectomy, bow-removal, and done, gorgeous. As for this blue one, easy — hike it up (take in the bust if that’s what it takes to keep it up), and sew up the slit in the leg — that would take it from pear-shaped to bell-shaped, and it would be simply delightful. And yeah, ok, the hair could go up in both.
Sheesh. Long-time reader, first-time commenter. But come on, seriously — EBanks is breathtaking. And seems very nice, AND is a lovely actress!
Dude, why so harsh on Elizabeth Banks? She is TOTALLY “downright striking!” The pink dress is just fug. Mulletectomy, bow-removal, and done, gorgeous. As for this blue one, easy — hike it up (take in the bust if that’s what it takes to keep it up), and sew up the slit in the leg — that would take it from pear-shaped to bell-shaped, and it would be simply delightful. And yeah, ok, the hair could go up in both.
Sheesh. Long-time reader, first-time commenter. But come on, seriously — EBanks is breathtaking. And seems very nice, AND is a lovely actress!
That pink dress belongs on Charo, but it could probably use some sequins. And some bigger poofs. And maybe some marabou trim.
Go big or go home.
Love your idols, mes amis, but please, let’s all hew to sanity. No one could look good in this wacked pink dress. The dress is a hot mess. Remove train first. Second remove bow. Now breathe sigh of relief.
I kind of like the idea of ombre and tiers–if it was long and fitting. Otherwise it should be short (an inch longer than the current mullet front) and hip-snug, as her legs are lovely. No more with the pear shape, Banksy. The pear shape is an excellent dress shape for people shaped like pears. But not so much slim-hipped starlettes.
The top photo is not bitchface; she’s just performing and at the same time wondering, Do I know what I’m doing, in terms of clothing myself? And the answer is, confirming her darkest suspicions: no, she does not. If she’s hustling around the streets, running errands with another terrible dress, one that’s falling off her this time, the crabbiness in the lower photo is also not a bitchface–’cause it’s not acting.
Nothing would help these dresses. She needs a stylist that cares about her. Pronto!
i seriously think that only two things are needed to fix the first dress: make the skirt one length (pick a length, any length); and some stronger coloured lipstick. like Sandra B at the oscars (though not so pink).
the second dress cannot be saved. and was made even worse by the addition of ankle strap shoes. EW.
The hair really lets her down. It just looks sloppy and bulges oddly at the sides. Also, it might help if she didn’t have such a dead expression. It looks like she can’t even be bothered being there.
Sorry, but this dresses are unfixable! And, if she can’t keep up whith dyeing her hair blonde, she should go back to being a brunette!!!
Yeah, I agree–perform a train-ectomy and bow-ectomy, give her a real hairdo and TOUCH UP HER ROOTS, and you’ve got something.
I think both dresses are very pretty but I agree they are not proper for such occasions. Anyway she is a very beautiful woman and has great legs so I would forgive her this, after all she looked stunning.
Honey, I don’t think even Ru Paul Charles has what it takes to pull off that much dress. Seriously!
That dress is hideous; the best thing you could do for that horrifically-colored gauzy nightmare is to put it out of its misery.
I like her shoes though, in both outfits. I actually don’t hate the bottom one, but I’d need a better picture.
I think that if she stood up straight and didn’t hold her purse as though it were a shopping cart, she could pull off either outfit. (Though I agree to an up-do upgrade for outfit number one.)
Either get rid of the bow and make the whole thing long or cut off the train in which case the bow can stay. And ombre is teh ew, so use a different fabric.
It needs to either lose the train and be a cute cocktail dress, or go full-length and be an evening gown. Blue tones would work better for her blonde hair, but I don’t think this color is that bad. I actually like the neckline – I find it interesting without being too whacked out. And like everyone else, I agree she needs an updo to pull this off. And maybe some stronger lipstick.
actually, i love the first dress. i think it looks so, ethereal, and flowy, and damn I want it. the cocktail’s alright, but it makes her hips look huge!
What you said: put the hair in a bun instead of a strange floppy cocker spaniel ear-thing, chop off the train, maybe remove the bow, and you have a lovely dress. Or, you know, put it on someone who can actually pull off that much dress-ness.
Unrelatedly: That girl behind her in the second photo with the blue stripy skirt and white top looks awesome. Though her hair kinda looks like she’s wearing a helmet.
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