VMAs: The Little FugMaid

I don’t even know who this person is:

The caption tells me that her name is Syleena Johnson and Google tells me that she’s a singer of some sort. Her website tells me that she’s got a pretty decent voice. No one, however, will tell me why, in the name of God, she’s wearing something that most closely resembles something Tonya Harding might choose to wear if she decided to launch a triumphant return to figure skating as the star of Mermaid Whores on Ice.

I’d also like to point out that this is the second mermaid whore of the evening. Is this a trend? In Brentwood, is Tori Spelling frantically trying to reach 90210‘s second season costume mistress to see if she’s still got Tori’s mermaid costume from That Episode Where Kelly Dressed Like a Slutty Witch and Got Punished For It When That Guy Tried to Rape Her, Thank God Steve Thwarted Him? Because I don’t know if I can handle that.