VMAs Fug or Fab Carpet: Alicia Keys

I’m flummoxed.

I SHOULD think this dress is cute. But somehow it’s not working for me on Alicia. Kind of like how I SHOULD like peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, because peanut butter and bacon are magically delicious, but for whatever reason the two just don’t go together for me. Am I just out of sorts? Do I need more sleep? Some champagne? A back rub from Intern George? Or is my vague and hard-to-articulate sense of “meh” well-placed? I need your guidance, Fug Nation.