Well Played, Paula Abdul

Victory in our time!

That’s right, Paula, celebrate. You look … cute! I KNOW! The dress is fun, the shoes are fantastic, and although your Botox problem has your “smile” looking slightly more like a twisted grimace, I also know that’s just unfortunate timing on this picture and I can relate because I am horribly unphotogenic. Although it does sort of look like you are resisting while Craig Ferguson is trying to escort you quickly and quietly to your car so it can take you back to the loony bin, but whatever — I’m starting to find your incoherence and faux-drunken shenanigans amusing (to the point where I wish you’d attributed your fashion pick to the little sprites who dance on your shoulders and really shine in their own light of special rainbows; maybe you did).

Also, I do believe I actually heard you give an OPINION on American Idol last night, something that wasn’t just a regurgitation of whatever Randy said before you. Did my ears deceive me? I almost hit my head on the coffee table when I fainted, I was so surprised. So well played indeed, Ms. Abdul. Let’s shoot for one more of those per show. Okay? Great. Baby steps.