Well-Played Cover: Gwyneth Paltrow

Well, well, well. Would you look at that? For the first time in approximately 12,000 years, I don’t hate the Harper’s Bazaar cover. I still hate the way they lay out the copy (for some reason, that font and layout makes it seem like there’s no SUBSTANCE to the magazine at all, like it’s a fake rag you’d see in the background of some fluffy rom-com where Reese Witherspoon is the editor-in-chief of a bridal magazine but — gasp! — can’t find a man herself ), and the sort of weird boob-sling/armpit-draping is….weird, but she looks like herself. She doesn’t appear to have a wasting disease or any extra limbs. She is the color she is supposed to be and not orange like a traffic cone. Her head does not appear to be Photoshopped on. Those are probably her own teeth. She’s not wearing chain mail, or hot pants, or knee-socks over her ears. There are no cloying quotes floating around her head, like “Life is so simple now! Thanks to my staff of twelve,” or “I know now that I can do anything! Because I have all the advantages and money in the world.” She just looks relaxed, and pretty. I’d like to buy some of that.