Well Played, Reese Witherspoon

[Photo: Splash News]

Because seriously, how does she make wearing white look so easy? I would be so paranoid about getting dirty that I’d immediately become a trembling fountain of food and Diet Coke — a walking stain magnet. Of course, this is coming from someone who once inadvertently drew all over one of her coats at Fashion Week because she didn’t realize she’d been clutching a capless pen quite so tightly. Reese Witherspoon is probably not that much of a doofus. But she looks so great I almost want to give this a shot, which is BAD, because a few sweat stains and a hot dog accident later, I will be weeping and writing curse words all over my outfit with a Tide stain pen. So, Reese? Do us all a favor and stop looking quite so effortlessly awesome, okay? The only person who wins there is the water company after my water bill skyrockets due to excess laundry. HELP ME FIGHT THE MAN.