KIM KARDASHIAN: So…we’re still doing this?

AVRIL LAVIGNE: ROCKING OUT? HELL YEAH!

KIM: No. THIS.

AVRIL: BEING AWESOME? YOU KNOW IT.

KIM: NO. THIS.

AVRIL: Posing for things in order to promote them? Yes, Kim. How else do you expect to make any money?

KIM: Well, technically, your new single is irritatingly catchy. So I think you’re going to be okay. But that also wasn’t what I was talking about.

AVRIL: Are you talking about me dating Brody?

KIM: No, but remind me to talk to someone about that later. Like a professional.

AVRIL: So what is your damage, brah?

KIM: A) don’t call me brah, 2) YOU’RE NEARLY 27 YEARS OLD. ENOUGH WITH THE OUTFITS. You look like Richie Rich and Aubrey O’Day had a baby and it was named the new face of Hot Topic. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO BE DOING THIS WHEN YOU ARE 30? THINK ABOUT THAT. THINK ABOUT IT!

AVRIL: Huh. I never would have expected that you, Kim, Kardashian would be speaking such wisdom, but you have a point.

KIM: THANK YOU! God. Okay. Now I have to go. My pleather leggings are starting to chafe.