There’s something very dated-feeling about this.

I don’t know if it’s the dress with giant pocket flaps at the hip bones, or something about the bodice, or the aggressive goldness of the Chuck E. Cheese tokens with which it’s been decorated. But it keeps reminding me of the inappropriately grown-up things people bought at Express and wore to my middle-school formal dances (a girl’s first French twist thinks it needs her first cocktail dress too). It isn’t making me black out with rage, but it’s stale.

Miley’s version was less “our little girl’s NOT all grown up, but don’t tell HER that” and more “when did our little girl get into bondage?”

Which makes the delicate little black pumps somewhat funny to me. She has Innocent Feet but Asphyxiation Neck. The strappier bodice makes it a bit cooler, at least — the back of Kat’s was more open like that, and also appeared to be made of murdered belts — so on that alone I’d probably pick Miley’s version. But unless those are real doubloons, I’d cram that back in the treasure chest and try and dig up something better.

Who wins (or "wins")?

  • Miley (67%, 2,385 Votes)
  • Kat (33%, 1,187 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,572

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[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]