You Had Me at Fug

So, we mentioned this during Fashion Week, but Renee Zellweger has seen better days:

She is kind of starting to look like one of those women you see in a Lifetime movie who used to be all beautiful and fresh but married a total asswad because he had money and good hair and she thought that was enough and she had to escape her hardscrabble life somehow but fifteen years later, she’s totally brittle and depressive and she starts drinking at 10 a.m. and by 5 p.m. she’s yelling at the staff and falling over her Louis Vuitton hat boxes and then passing out on top of her minks and then her youngest child finds her drooling on a fur ruff and cries and cries because Mommy won’t wake up.  I mean, this dress is full-on 65 Year Old Woman Attending A Party At the Met in a Dress She’s Had Since 1981. But I could work with that except for the part where OMG RENEE. STAND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. All pursed lips, contorted body, hands placed as close together as possible on the waist so as to make it look smaller. I feel like she does this wackdoo pursy contorty thing all the time and it looks so purposefully awkward and I can’t figure out  WHY she keeps doing it. Like, this is not a Broken-Down Doll challenge on ANTM, so what’s the deal?