Katy Perry and I are making the exact same underwhelmed face right now:
“Maybe I should have worn something less transparent this time,” she seems to be thinking. “Also, why does this have a giant leather bow on it? Also, why is it so haphazardly mosaic, like the bottom of a half-finished pool? Also, if I stare at this long enough, why do I keep seeing a deflated Mickey Mouse in it? Is that the universe mocking me for never having made The Mickey Mouse Club? I tried, Universe. I would have been amazing dancing with a tiny Justin Timberlake. Or even a larger Justin Timberlake. Maybe I should call Justin Timberlake. That Biel thing is never going to happen, no matter how much white she wears. Shoot. Maybe I should have worn white. I am just going to go home and start over.”
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@thebestjasmine I want to high five her - J
VMAs Bump Carpet: Amber Rose
Apparently the VMAs is becoming the place to announce your baby joy. First Beyonce did it last year, and now Amber Rose is in on the action.
Now that she’s public, we expect some seriously Fug Madness-worthy maternity garments from her. The suffocating black vines are an intriguing start, but it’s not loony enough. We want vintage Amber Rose, but with more topography. Where are the pregnancy catsuits? Why isn’t her bump swaddled in string? Is she at LEAST having someone knit the baby a matching chain-mail bodysuit? Do not forsake us, Amber. Your baby may need you but so do we.
[Photo: Getty]
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