I don't know why Rockne Brubaker and his new partner, Child Bride, are covered in spider webs. I would also be interested to hear if anyone in either of their camps ever discussed how he -- although he's only six years older than she is -- looks like he's kidnapping her, because he appears to be a grown-up man, and she looks very, very, very very young. Because she's 15. And I'd also like to know whether or not that conversation included the phrase, "I hope this doesn't look creepy. It doesn't, right?" And whether or not THAT comment was answered with, "let's cover them in cobwebs. IT MAKES ANTIQUES LOOK OLDER."