So many thoughts:
a) I never thought I’d miss the Zooey Deschanel Cotton ads until I heard the Kate Bosworth Cotton ads. Kate Bosworth sings about as well as beaver being put through a pasta maker. Zooey, come back.
b) Girl, sometimes it’s okay to wear a cardigan.
c) I’m calling it right now: bun in the oven. Don’t laugh, WE’VE BEEN RIGHT BEFORE.
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Comments (55):
I feel like the magazine cover doesn’t really even look that much like her but rather a young Daphne Zuniga. Which is not a bad thing, per se, but weird when a person is standing next to a photo of herself which does not actually bear too much resemblance, you know?
The tights and shoes clearly live in a different climate and season than the dress. Which is cute from waist to hemline, but a complete failure on top. If she is on the road to Mama-land, she’s gonna need to start giving those girls some support.
Bun in the over was totally my first thought when I saw this picture. Emily’s youngster needs a cousin!
Why must she always wear the black tights? I’m sweating just looking at her. If she’s that self-conscious about her legs she should Just. Wear. Pants.
She is so beautiful, and I really enjoy her music, but this is just plain bad from head to toe. I also thought she looked pregnant at first glance. If she is, she needs help with maternity wear. If she’s not, she just needs fashion help in general. I’m sad now.
Okay. So I am not one to talk about hair because mine looks nice 3 days a week if I’m lucky–but she has THE BEST HAIR EVER and I want to see it down!
i’m totally pulling for her to be up the duff!
Yeah, this whole look has major issues. But I am VERY excited about her show “The New Girl” because I love her and some of the promos have made me laugh out loud! I hope it does well!
I’m with you on the bun issue, Jessica. She’s all glowy.
The uber-loose belt says it all really!
While we’re on the subject of animals going thorugh woodchippers, what is with her hair?
Unpopular comment alert: This girl bugs the crap out of me.
I thought she looked pregnant, also. And the different parts of this outfit are fighting with each other. Black tights say Winter! But bare shoulders say Summer! And the print says Golden Girls!
I think she already confirmed the pregnancy a few weeks ago-I love her, such a pretty face, but GOD stop trying so hard to be adorable!
I don’t think the outfit would be as bad if the dress fit correctly. But that fit… it is hard to look at. Ach. And usually she’s an indie-princess with the cute frocks. Blech.
I’m so sad… the outfit is so unflattering and she’s such a cute, pretty young girl. The horrible dark tights with the bare shoulders, ugh. And the incredibly awful cut on the dress. The poor thing! Why didn’t someone say anything to her before they started taking photos?
i agree, tights & shoes don’t go with the dress. The dress is cute on its own without the tights (and better shoes), but her girls need better support. I think she’s cute; her hair isn’t doing her any favors.
@Leah – agreed, the cover is not recognizably her (looks a tad like Emily, maybe they were confused), and it is especially creepy with her standing right there. On the other hand, she doesn’t quite look herself, either. Maybe it’s the hair, maybe it’s a bun, maybe it’s the absence of adorable dress.
Holy frijole, Woman! That is one bad outfit! It’s like she went out of her way to look fat with her bare, squished down arms, her heavily stockinged legs, and her poofy dress. Also, it’s called boob tape. You’re welcome.
I’m with you, Sandy. She bugs the crap out of me, too. So do her damn tights.
And it’s like there are two different people happening. The one on the magazine cover is a young Daphne Zuniga (good call, Leah), and the one on the right reminds me of a young, brunette Victoria Jackson from SNL.
I love her, and this look could be salvaged with proper application of a cardigan, and one wee belt loop. But I have no idea who that is on the magazine cover.
And you know, I personally feel the contents of her uterus is a private thing. I’m old and cranky that way.
Whoooooooooooooa. That’s Zooey on the COVER? You lie! She’s standing in front of an old magazine cover featuring some cute/bland model-looking person. Right?
Sugarbaby, seriously, pants are GREAT!
Obviously her facial features don’t resemble Victoria Jackson, but there is something about this outfit and hairdo make her look like the brunette version of Victoria Jackson of SNL, circa 1985. I do think her girly girly clothes are usually very flattering, but this is not her best look and I agree that it is a shame to put up her hair like that when she has such awesome hair.
dear LORD this is unflattering! I’m surprised SELF even let her wear that… for such a tiny girl she looks enormous.
Also, it’s been said, but it really isn’t necessary to wear black tights with EVERY SINGLE DRESS ALL THE TIME.
full disclosure: I really hate her in general.
I’m OK with black tights in the summer…if they have a purpose ( i.e. my love of all things dark), but I can not get behind the idea of black tights with an Easter Sunday dress.
What does it say that I saw her outfit and my brain instantly read “Fighting Your Natural Beauty” on the bottom of the magazine?
And when did they start making tulip-bedecked potato sacks? Those will certainly be much more fetching in the corner of the kitchen…
(Free disclaimer, this nitpicking done by a woman wearing jeans, a tshirt and a hoodie. But, hey, I’m technically in IT and there is a dress code to be followed.)
I don’t think she’d be preggers w/ her new show coming out this fall & possibly taping new episodes if well-received, but that outfit is NOT doing her any favors on the rumor front.
“Kate Bosworth sings about as well as beaver being put through a pasta maker.”
Love!
The classic “Strapless Dress South Slide”. This is why strapless dresses are terrible and need to go away now. They have no structure. Last week I went to a seamstress to have a dress for a wedding altered and she clapped when she saw that it had straps.
I agree! I thought it was Lily Allen in front of a Zoe cover. Weird. I’m sad she’s back to the black-tights-with-everything. I guess it’s her trademark.
Has anybody else seen her Absolut ad? It is GORGEOUS but she has blond hair and no bangs I was flipping through my GQ and saw it and was astounded
I don’t care for her, either. I always feel like she’s trying to play Zooey Deschanel with every character. And I really don’t care for this outfit at all. Her boobs like like they’re frowning.
The top half is so … pale. And the bottom half is so … dark.
I like Deschanel, and I don’t know why. I’ve only ever seen/heard her do vapid, and in this getup, she certainly looks terrible–both plump and saggy chested. Like a semi-neglected housewife. But Deschanel was the original Katy Perry, in my mind. Probably I just like her name, which is not really that great, but would have seemed ideal to 13-year-old me.
But yes, CJ, to the Victoria SNL Jackson. (I also have a vague memory that Victoria Jackson is a revolting, execrable person, but I’m not going to plumb that right now to remember how this reputation was established.)
And yes, Samina, to the no to the strapless. Strapless is a nasty joke on us, people. Strapless does not belong on most bodies, certainly not on breasts above A cup, or any body without loads of strategic tape and a spry wrangler lurking expectantly behind the potted plants. Because strapless looks so terrible on humans, I shall expect American Apparel to make only cotton “winter” tubetops this year, in see-through pale pink, sweat gray, teeth color, and royal blue.
@Sabrina, I just googled “The New Girl” and I am on board – it looks so cute, can’t wait
Thanks!
I thought Victoria Jackson, too. (Glad to know I’m not the only one who remembers her, and yes, she used to be kind of dopey but occasionally funny and has since become outspokenly vile, über tea party, anti-gay, said Muslim-Americans are plotting our demise, etc etc.). I’m glad she didn’t do a cotton commercial.
@Sandy and mallory: agreed. thought i was perhaps the only one.
for me, it’s the sound of her voice and her impetuously dizzy grin which prevent enjoyment of her offerings.
nevertheless, her messy locks look lustrous.
The Zooey on the cover looks a little like a darker-haired Nikki Cox.
That is, a darker-haired Nikki Cox from before she got the bad lip job.
THANK YOU for confirming for me that I am not the only person in the world that wants to put a brick thru my television every single time that HORRIFIC Kate Bosworth cotton commercial comes on!!! Seriously, why must we, the innocent but poor non-DVR-owning tv watchers, be subjected to such torture?!? I honestly thought it was some kind of spoof or joke the first couple of times I saw it…now I can only wish it was…*SIGH*
I would LOVE it if she had a bun in the oven. Not just because it would explain the outfit, but because that would be one hell of a talented baby.
Don’t mind the dress, but seriously not loving the tights … am not against black tights in general (as someone self-conscious about my own legs, sometimes tights are the only way I can comfortably get to wear a non-maxidress especially in winter), but this dress just screams “summer” (in more than one way, hehe) so the tights just really give off an uncomfortable sticky vibe beneath it. She’s so pretty though! =)
OH COME ON. Not the most flattering outfit in the world, but this is infinitely better than every single fug outfit ever to be on this website.
OMG those Kate Bosworth cotton ads are horrible – you called it!
I was thinking you were late with the preggers watch, but that is her sister, Emily who is already knocked up…. hmmm interesting
Agree with the Daphne Zuniga and Victoria Jackson comparisons (with VJ, it’s the hair!)
But disagree with the pregnancy rumors, with her new TV show debuting — what Brook A said.
I can’t stand Zooey, either. Her acting isn’t so awful, but her singing makes me stabby. It’s her “I’m so etherial / I’m so indie / every alterna-girl wants to be me and all the emo boys want me” tone that really gets on my nerves. If I never have to hear her sing again, my ears will be eternally grateful.
Kate Bosworth’s singing is AWFUL. Glad someone else agrees with me on that.
Zooey is normally so cute, but I do wish she would get rid of the bangs. She needs to lose the tights or add a cardigan, this outfit just looks wrong.
No kidding! This woman is pregnant! I dont think all of a sudden she would be this “plump”
I don’t care for her either, for the same reasons Angie cited above. She definitely looks pregnant, though.
Two words: Shirley Feeney.
Burn 100 calories in 10 minutes! Let’s hope she is pregnant – or I’m never taking any advice from that magazine vere again!
I meant EVER – not vere…
Why is no one talking about how creepy her make-up is? Like a kid playing dress-up, especially compared to the magazine cover. The tights are OK because she’s wearing a black belt, and it would look less bizarre if she were wearing a nice necklace AND if the dress fit her properly. But that make-up…
@Angie – best description ever!
Zooey is cute beyond imagination (outside of this picture, obvs), but girl can not sing or act. I agree that she just plays Zooey Deschanel in everything, and it’s really grating.
But I pity her for wearing this. Apparently her friends hate her much more than I do letting her go out like this.
She looks like Cindy Williams in that picture. I was all “Shirley Feeney! Is that you?”
BUN! Yes! That was EXACTLY what I thought. Hmm, looks like she got knocked up between the Self photo shoot and release…