Fug File: WTF

Party In The Fug.S.A.

Feb 17, 2012 By Heather AT 7:00 am
84

Let’s lead with the good news: Miley got a haircut/got her extensions of doom taken out, and she looks great.

Right? It’s so healthy and sassy like that. And it makes sense: She’s about to hit up a lot of Hunger Games premieres alongside Liam “Last Song” Hemsworth, so she might as well try and get in the conversation, you know? Even if that conversation turns out to be, “Man, they could’ve just CGI’d him into this sucker from that Miley Cyrus movie and it would’ve been the same.” Although he really IS cute, so I am actually hoping he blows it out of the water as Gale. No, wait… get ready for it… I hope he is a Gale force. SNAP.

But the thing is, there’s a reason I cut this photo off at the head, and it’ s because what’s on the jump will make you do that half-inhale, half-squeal where you grab your face and then look around to see if any of your coworkers saw you going all Edvard Munch:

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Fugshanti

Feb 14, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm
69

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ASHANTI. CAPS LOCK NECESSARY.

I have sat here waving my hands around for the last five minutes trying to understand which obscure fertility deity she thinks she is. To be fair, Ashanti is at some random fashion show and is thus garbed in one of the label’s designs, but ALSO to be fair, Michelle Williams and Petra Nemcova were also present and they didn’t feel the need to wear a  glorified vaginal sheath:

i am still in shock

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Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Sasha

Feb 13, 2012 By Heather AT 1:30 pm
36

Are they doing Terminator as a documentary now?

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Grammy Awards Huh? Carpet: Deadmau5

Feb 13, 2012 By Heather AT 7:00 am
79

Well, that’s it. I’m officially too old for the Grammys.

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Fugsica White

Feb 7, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm
77

Thank you to Jessica White for adding fuel to the pyre on which the “models can wear anything” theory is burning.

Models can’t wear this. Windows can’t wear this. Canopy beds can’t wear this. Marchesa models can’t wear this. Mannequins at the polygamist cult on-site lingerie emporium can’t wear this. Tables can’t wear this. Clowns can’t wear this. People who breathe can’t wear this. SWINTON can’t wear this. Leighton Meester might think she can wear this, but she can’t. Tyra Banks secretly thinks she can wear this, but knows better than to try.  Your mortal enemy should think she can wear this, even though she can’t, because that would be satisfying. In short, this is the incomprehensibly hideous Lanz of Salzburg sleepwear version of Erin Wasson’s idiotic Golden Globes dress: It is evil, and must be destroyed.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug the Waxwork: Eli Manning

Feb 3, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm
72

Here’s the thing: If I were ever to become famous, I would somehow create a contract wherein Madame Tussaud’s was legally prohibited from making a waxwork in my image. Because they never make waxworks in anyone’s actual, accurate image — they look like they’re based on grainy photocopied images of a person who may or may not be the celebrity in question. So unless I could work with them to guarantee various upgrades, there is no way in hell I would shuffle off this Earth knowing one of these abominations was left behind as my legacy. Brad Pitt’s is horrific. Michael Jackson’s makes him look like a very sensitive female news anchor. Our future alien overlords in 2300 are going to be so confused by it all. It just never ends well, and poor Eli Manning is no exception. Now, if you are not familiar with Manning the Younger, here he is:

And here he is again:

And here he is NOT:

taking the man out of manning

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