57“WHAT UP, IT’S YEEZY, WITH KIM KARDASHEEZY. I CAN’T BELIEEZY THAT YOU THINK WE ARE CHEESY AND MAKE Y’ALL QUEASY. I JUST WANT TO BE FREEZY TO LOVE WHO I PLEASY, AND — DAMN, DID IT JUST GET BREEZY? AW, HELLSHIT, I ALMOST FLASHED MY WEEZY. JEEZY-CREEZY. TODAY IS MEAN.”
[Photos, which, to the best of my knowledge, are not faked: Splash]
Khloe, you are BY FAR my favorite Kardashian — with the possible exception of Kanye.
But, to borrow a caps lock from your future ex-brother-in-law, THAT’S A SHIRT AND YOU KNOW IT.
There are those who feel we refuse to like ANYTHING if it’s on the back of Kim Kardashian. And I am so tempted for that to be true, but alas, I am about to ROCK those people’s WORLDS.
This might be really good. I KNOW. I said it, and I mean it. I can’t quite believe the Valentino people made the carpet black — didn’t they consider that half these ladies would wear black shoes that would totally blend in? — but that is’nt Kim’s fault, and she shouldn’t be punished for it. In fact, I like that dress, it suits her, and… I’m not mad at it. Please check the sky for oncoming locusts.
[Photo: Getty]
Methinks somebody is jealous of her sister’s Fug Madness run.
Okay, probably not, but isn’t that a better explanation than, “She saw this and thought it was super cute”? Kim: Just because J.Lo jumped off Old Arm Cutout Bridge doesn’t mean you should pull over and climb over the rail too. However, if it’s true that Kanye West is in love with you and wants to marry you, please go ahead and jump off THAT bridge. It would be MAGICAL. Especially if you let him design the gown. PLEASE. I am firmly Team Kandashian. His name even begins with a K! It’s like fate.
[Photo: Pacific Coast News]
No, we weren’t ignoring them. In fact, we’re making the Ks face off to fight one another to get into this thing — after all, what event is complete without one of the various Kardashians outside it, screaming at someone to let them in? Whichever of the Kardashian sisters you deem the most sartorially challenged gets a pass into the Big Dance, where she will battle Katy Perry (another K — that feels so right) in the first round — and perhaps beyond! So take a look at what the Ks wore this year — make sure you pop by their archives; by no means is this little slideshow comprehensive, though it has some amazing stuff we ignored this year for one reason or another — and then COME BACK TO VOTE. (Obviously, the two women who lose will drop through a hole in the floor and into a vat of boiling hot magma.)
Whose Fug reigns supreme?
Total Voters: 8,956
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Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth Read Sexy Excerpt From '50 ...
A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
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Fugs and Fehs: Wango Tango
Wango Tango is a concert that KIIS-FM (the local pop-music station here in Los Angeles) organizes every May, and which generally features a LOT of artists who are intensely popular but ultimately kind of flashes in the pan, mixed in with people like Britney. If you want to feel old, you should look at the Wikipedia compendium of past line-ups, as they are kind of brilliant time capsules of pop culture. For example, the ’98 line-up included Hootie and the Blowfish, Vonda Shepard (!), Paula Cole and Meredith Brooks, Olivia Newton John (???) and N-freaking SYNC, who were not even the headliners (that honor went to Mariah Carey, which is fair). 1999 had — among others — Ricky Martin and Britney, a girl I’ve never heard of who doesn’t even have a Wiki page anymore and who therefore isn’t even officially alive, and Fab of Milli Vanilli in the midst of his failed attempt to be a solo artist. The following year, N*SYNC headlined (that may have been the year I personally saw N*SYNC at the Rose Bowl and had an argument with the 12 year old in front of me about whether or not JC was my boyfriend or hers [I let her win when I realized what for me was "an argument" was for her DEADLY SERIOUS. I realized this when she asked me if JC and I had "an anniversary" (we do not).]) and there were two bands I’ve literally never heard of, plus Sisqo (remember when you couldn’t get in your car without hearing “The Thong Song”? Personally, I am much more a fan of its contemporary “Hot In Herre”), and J. Simp…backed up by Nick Lachey. You guys, that page is a total wormhole and you should go procrastinate there. Get ready to say things like, “OMG REMEMBER O-TOWN?” And then come back and look at all the fools Hologram Me is going to be waxing rhapsodic about in 2022.
[Photos: Getty and WENN]
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