Where was I when Jordin Sparks started dating Jason Derulo?

I have no problem with this, I literally just didn’t realize it was happening. Us Weekly, dude, where were you on this? Where are the pics of these two, like, buying wrapping paper at the Grove and holding hands, wherein I learn that they are just like us — THEY WRAP PRESENTS! — and also that they are dating.

Mazel tov, kids, and now let’s deal with Jordin’s dress:

It is….well, in the interest of not harshing her romantical buzz, let’s just not that it EXISTS, and move on.