Author Archives: Jessica

Freaky Fug Friday: THE WINNERS


We are pleased to announce the winners of this week’s Freaky Fug Friday, in which, if you don’t remember, I forced you to look at this:

And made you tell us what unconventional household item you would wear if you were forced to make a half-naked splash on the red carpet. Our winners, both of whom get a copy of Unbreak My Heart by Melissa Walker, are:
Jessica:
I’ll pull inspiration from Dobby the house-elf and wear a tea cozy as a fancy hat (I assume I’ll be attending the Kentucky Derby), and make a “dress” out of tied-together tea bags. That way, though of course I’ll have plenty of ventilation, if I start sweating, I will only smell of chamomile or peppermint.
AmyK:
I’d call upon my inner Claudia Kishi and fashion something out of the many, many cables in my home. TV cables. Old, forgotten VCR cables. Cell phone charger cables. Ethernet cables. Just a whole bunch of cables, wrapped around my body, as well strategically NOT wrapped in certain areas. The whole thing would then become impossibly tangled, as cables tend to do, ensuring that the whole ensemble will stay in place as I do lunges and squat-thrusts down the red carpet.

 

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NY Fug.com: Tracking Chris Colfer’s Most Bananas Glee Outfits


Tonight is the Glee finale, and if there is anything I’ll miss about Glee, it is Kurt and his wardrobe. Which is why it was so fun to write about his most wacktacular get-ups this season. For example:

“We aren’t entirely sure what to call that hybrid of a turtleneck, a poncho, a dickey, and a straitjacket. “Dickchoneckjacket” doesn’t quite have the right ring to it.”

He is adorable. To see them all, drop by Vulture!

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Royal Shenanigans: The Queen’s Jubilee


Are you ready to take a gander at bunch of royals we haven’t seen around these parts since Wills put a ring on it? Welcome to the very beginning of the Queen’s Jubilee celebration — which I suspect will lend itself to many many many a post, because everyone is rolling in for Liz II’s big bash and bringing their finest and waving their arms around and taking camera pics. It’s very entertaining. With bonus Prince Harry, because DUH.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Pieces, Friday May 18


Exciting news! Our new book, MESSY — which is SUPPOSED to come out on June 5th — has shipped from the warehouses and is currently on its way to Amazon and your local bookstore. So keep an eye out for it in the wild, or your mailbox. We hope you love it.

Until then:

Our vintage doodle of Princess Bea and Eugenie is up for grabs again, so if you missed out on it last year, HERE IS YOUR CHANCE. All proceeds will benefit NF Network,  to support education, advocacy, coalitions, and research for treatments and a cure for  neurofibromatosis (NF), which is a genetic disorder common than Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy and Huntington’s Disease combined. (eBay)

You need to see this infographic of Liz Lemon’s hair. (Flavorwire)

– I’m sorry, these tatted up Tom Cruise pics just make me laugh. In a good way, though. I might be kind of back in on Tom Cruise. (Lainey)

–I think the only thing I need to tell you to get you to read this fascinating piece in New York is the log line on the piece: “Rare-wine collectors are savvy, competitive guys with a taste for impossible finds. The biggest hoax in history took place right under their noses.” YOU LOVE HOAXES! And wine. (New York)

– You are going to love this piece about Choose Your Own Adventure. (Atlantic Wire)

– These teachers — stealth dancing behind their unsuspecting students — are sincerely delightful. (Gawker)

– I am never going to get tired of talking about how we love to hate-watch Smash. (Slate)

– Have you read this article in last week’s New York Times magazine about child psychopaths? You should. It sounds sensationalistic, but it’s actually mostly fascinating, sad, scary, and well-reported. (NYT)

– How did this dude, who just broke the world record for Longest Guitar Solo, not FALL ON HIS FACE ASLEEP? Amazing. (Time)

I love you, Emma Thompson. And I love that you are still with Willoughby (Greg Wise is always Willoughby to me). And your daughter is SO CUTE. (Celebitchy)

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Fug or Fab: Freida Pinto


I decided that Eva Longoria is running some kind of scam on Freida Pinto and the rest of the L’Oreal women wherein she somehow manages to snag all the best dresses for herself and leaves them with the Wonky One. Look, it’s something her Desperate Housewives character would have done, and now that the show’s over, she needs SOME kind of outlet.

Or is it not that bad? Sound off in the comments.

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Better Played, Jessica Chastain


Chastain LOVES McQueen:

The good news is that McQueen loves her back. This is sort of great, right? The neckline is kind of…let’s just say I kept staring at it trying to figure out if I like it, and then I feel weird that I have spent so much time staring at her boobs, so I gave up on that. But it’s relaxed, in a good way, and she’s working that. I love that it’s just a light pink that it’s basically white, and I extra love that it doesn’t seem to be torturing any of her vital organs. Do I wish she had a pop of extra color? Yes. But I want a lot of things, including world peace and the hand of Jon Hamm in marriage, but sometimes we have to be happy with what we’re given.

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