Author Archives: Jessica

Typically Well Played: Kate Middleton


“You know, no big.”

“Just hanging out. Wearing booties. Sporting another cute coat dress. Bouncy hair. Kissing babies. Business as usual. Just wait until you see what I’m going to wear to the Olympics. Two words: unitard.”

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Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie, episodes 14 and 15


That’s right! This one’s a twofer, given that we were at Fashion Week for the first one, and the second was Monday. YOU’RE WELCOME INTERNETS.

Here’s what’s going on: DeeDee finds a picture of Lemon that Mayor Lavon Hayes has secreted under his desk, because where else do you keep the picture of your secret beloved than taped under some furniture and not in, say, your underwear drawer? Also, Lavon’s parents come to town and announce they’re breaking up after almost forty years. Shenanigans ensue, some of which lead to DeeDee briefly thinking Zoe has the lesbian jones for Lemon (a plot twist I hope to see in season five or thereabouts), and some of which involve HNW taking over Zoe’s bedroom to turn it into a tropical love nest for the Hayes Parentals (on a night that she’s conveniently absent) to remind them of their True Love, and all which eventually lead to people having all kinds of Realizations About Love. Lavon breaks up with DeeDee and she’s real upset, but I don’t care because the last few episodes have featured DeeDee acting like she might be a little special in the head. He is still in love with Lemon, poor thing. On Lemon’s end of town, there’s all this blah blah blah that leads to her and George trying to elope but then realizing they really want a big church wedding/they need to drag this storyline out for maximum romantical angst for Lavon. And Zoe and Wade make up, but have not yet made OUT. Get on it, show!

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Writer’s Guild Awards Fug or Fab: Amanda Peet


Speaking of Downton Abbey (this link has SPOILERS SPOILERS), why doesn’t she just hold up a sign:

“Look at how pretty I am in this,” it would read. “Doesn’t Cora have some younger American cousin who needs to come visit England for a spell? I can totally get shot in a hunting party accident if you want. Call my agent!”

AND YET:

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NAACP Awards Fug Carpet: Anika Noni Rose


Listen, I know Anika Noni Rose is really busy. She’s on The Good Wife AND Private Practice.

But surely she is NOT so distracted that she’d be under the mistaken impression that she’s attending the Miss America pageant. As a contestant.

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Mostly Well Played, Michelle Williams and 2/3rds of the Crawley Sisters


I had to wait until I saw the Downton Abbey Christmas special to write this. If YOU haven’t caught up with Downton Abbey yet, PLEASE DON’T READ IT BECAUSE I WILL SPOIL YOU. You WILL be spoiled. THERE ARE SPOILERS INSIDE. YOU WILL REGRET BEING SPOILED. I AM AIMING TO DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED AND IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW FOR GOD’S SAKE GO NOW. SAVE YOURSELF.

Enough of a warning? Let’s get to this.

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NAACP Fug or Fab Carpet: Tia Mowry


I realize that it’s possible having spent the last week at Fashion Week, where people wore unicorns stapled to their leotards and called it a day, has warped my brain. But am I about to approve of what is essentially a mullet dress? I suspect I am.

Push me to decision!

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