Fugger: Ben Affleck

With gratitude to the member of Fug Nation who reminded me that these “for a role” makeovers should be called “fakeovers,” here is what Ben Affleck is up to lately:

No, he is not playing Barry Gibb, although I wish he were (and in fact, he and Jimmy Fallon really ought to have a Gibb-Off on Late Night). Apparently he’s in something called Argo, although I don’t know if the beard is in aid of that, or if he’s just having a Brian Wilson moment — and I don’t mean the kind way down in Kokomo. I’m more fascinated, generally, by the fact that his hair can even DO that. It reminds me of when he was dating HOLA LOVERS and everyone thought he got forehead plugs and started calling him Wigfleck. I seriously would not be surprised to learn he commissioned a downy toupee from the leftovers every time Bieber is shorn. You know, like when every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings? Every time Bieb’s clippers buzz, Affleck gets his bangs.

Even Violet is like, “But is it REALLY real? Like, what if I do this? If I pull on it right here? Will it come out? Will it move? How about this? Or this? What if I do this?”

Except the thing is… I mean, I find it kind of ridiculous on him, but I also secretly maybe don’t hate it. Is that crazy? I just might be a little tired of Slicked-Up Affleck, so Laid-Back Respected Director And Quasi-Hipster Affleck is sort of a nice change. Am I nuts? Do I need to apologize to myself?

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[Photos: Pacific Coast News]