Fugger: Blake Lively

Fug or Fab: Boobs Legsly

Nov 22, 2011 By Heather AT 11:00 am

I think Blake Lively got her social schedule backward. She should have worn this to the Gossip Girl party…

… and saved Peacock Sugarbritches and the Magna Cum Laude for this Lady Gaga event at Barney’s, at which she could probably have worn three actual high-school graduates along with their tassels and everyone would’ve said, “Well, it’s Gaga Night, so that’s actually very restrained and wise.” Not that the blue suit positively screams Gossip Girl, but it does at least say, “My, how I’ve matured in 100 episodes or less.” Let’s start with the cons: The shoulder detail makes me a TOUCH concerned she’s going to grab a microphone and bust out some Barbara Mandrell covers, Violet Beauregard has about three of these in her closet at home, and mayhap the trousers don’t like her crotch. But I don’t know — something about it also works for me. Like she’s trying to be a shade more SWINTON than showgirl.

What's your stance?

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[Photo: Getty]

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XfugXfug, Gossip Fug

Nov 21, 2011 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

This is one of those things that is SO NOTEWORTHILY TERRIBLE that I am pretty sure I am going to choke like Sasha Cohen in an important Long Program, and fail to do it justice:

It’s like….

…..

……………..

…..

…..

FRINGE. BOOB SWIRL. ILLUSION NETTING. AND MORE FRINGE. I keep hearing those words in a loop, set to the tune of Target’s “DENIM, Shawn White Hoodies and DENIM” theme song,” except with “FRINGE” in the place of “DENIM” and, you guys, I would take a Shawn White hoodie over this, because I could work with that. Instead,  I’ve got half a joke about mold, three-quarters of a gag about a paper shredder, and a fifth of a jest about a fax machine, a beaver, and rabies. I’ve got part of a joke about figure-skating — although I already used one, so that’s out — and part of another joke about the fancy wall hangings at my local  Chinese restaurant, and then a hint of a gag about formal guest towels, and a wee bit about fire hazards mixed in with a dash of something about inadvertent self-strangulation, and a teeny hair of something about what’s going to happen when she gets all that fringe stuck to her lipgloss. I’ve got a totally half-cocked yada yada about horses’ manes — or possibly their tails? — and then a wholly unbaked blah blah blah about how her shoes totally don’t even match. I CAN’T MAKE THAT ALL WORK. THIS HAS BROKEN ME.  SO MANY REFERENCES. SO MUCH CRAZY. I’M BROKEN. I’M OUT.

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Fug or Fab: Blake Lively

Nov 17, 2011 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

Yeah, yeah, I know this is Chanel BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH and ergo I should love it and embrace it and YADA YADA YADA please don’t come after me, Kaiser Karl, but I think this is the sort of dress that makes you look SUPER OLD unless you are so young that it’s clearly almost ironic:

And, of course, the sort of dress that also works if you ARE quite old and kind of fantastic. But if you fall in the middle — if you’re medium-aged and fantastic, for example — you just look musty in it.

Am I right, or am I right?

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Fugsip Girls

Nov 10, 2011 By Heather AT 8:00 am

Come on, Boobs.

You’re not Pamela Anderson. You’re not even Christina Hendricks. They can’t be THAT hard to wrangle.

Also, as Jessica pointed out, if this party is any indication then these H&M for Versace (note: i am leaving this typo — it is Versace for H&M — because it is hilarious) clothes are from Planet WHAT. Some of the collection looks like this — the garb of refugees from a convention of people who once sat on the hoods of cars in hair metal videos — and then there’s this:

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XFugXFug, Gossip Girl

Nov 2, 2011 By Heather AT 9:00 am

When Blake was dating Leonardo DiCaprio, she suddenly put the boobs and often the legs away, almost like she thought she had to class up the joint to keep up with him. Now that they’ve broken up and she’s rumored to be with Ryan Reynolds, what do we think this approach says?

My vote is for, “Dude, please. Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place was no Growing Pains.”

and is that… a bathing suit?

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Fugsip Girl

Oct 19, 2011 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

We need to talk about what Dan Humphrey is doing to his hair.

I say “Dan Humphrey,” because I am wondering if it’s a character choice — like, now that we’ve been told Dan is North America’s most throbbing new writing talent, maybe he’s growing out his hair because he’s going to embark on a really pretentious artsy phase, and he has no friends left to tell him that he looks like a cross between John Mayer and Even Stevens.

This dispiriting, delinquent shrubbery is the second-most mystifying thing on Gossip Girl this season, the first being the fact that they found and hired a bunch of French actors with real French accents that inexplicably sound faker than Ed Westwick’s insistence on speaking only inside his own throat (you are not Kiefer, Mr. Bass, and this is not 24. PROJECT).

Actually, wait, there was one thing more perplexing, or at least equally furrow-inducing:

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