Fugger: Blake Lively

Met Ball Fug or Fine Carpet: Blake Lively


The press release for the outfit described it as “a Gucci Première pale green silk georgette strapless gown with silver and matte black feather motif embroideries [and] layers of black organza that cascade into a dramatic train.”

Proof positive that sometimes words really can paint a prettier picture than… well, a picture. Her body is clearly great, her earrings are groovy, but the bodice is way too snug and I am concerned the skirt is contagious.

Let’s also consider the hair:

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Fugs and Fabs: The Lively-Reynolds Clan


Can we discuss how strange it is that Ryan Reynolds posed on the red carpet with ROBYN Lively, his sister-in-law, but not BLAKE Lively, his wife? You’re not fooling us, guys. We know which two of you are married, and which of you was Teen Witch.

Thoughts on Ryan?

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And on Blake's?

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[Photos: Getty, WENN]

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Well Played, Blake Lively


You know, I might not be a hundred percent sure about the booties, but this look works for me.

She’s just so PRETTY. And her hair is brushed, the color is great, her makeup is subtle and perfect… If she had to work  out all her weirdo exhibitionist mojo over the years to get to this place, where she looks poised and composed and lovely, then it was all worth it. Well, who am I kidding? It was worth it ANYWAY, just for the hilarity factor. In fact, hopefully Boobs Legsly isn’t PERMANENTLY retired, but I think we’re all relieved she’s taking a well-deserved nap.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fine: Blake Lively


From the front, this is so uninspired. Blahtiful. Mehjestic. Magnifehcent. Is Blake bored of her Boobs Legsly alter-ego? Is Karl Lagerfeld (this is a Chanel event) bored of Blake now that she’s bored of being Boobs Legsly? Is she now just wearing all the backup bridesmaid dresses she ordered that didn’t fit, because the bridesmaids didn’t have time for a fitting? How did this piece of tedium happen? Or does the more interesting back save it for you?

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug the Cover: Blake Lively on Allure


Dear Allure:

I have a lot of thoughts about this cover. They might get screechy. May I number them? Okay then:

1) No begrudging Blake’s genetic blessings, but come on: Everyone in the world is sick of reading about celebrities who insist all the skinny and the beauty and the perfection come so easily to them.

2) You are even ADMITTING as much with that parenthetical underneath the cover line, as if to say, “Isn’t that SUPER ANNOYING? But really, she’s nice,” in the same way somebody trying to set up a friend on a blind date might say, “Jimmy chews with his mouth open sometimes, but really, he’s super sweet and a great friend.”

3) It’s really uninspiring to your readers — who, because they are gobbling up your recommended products that make their hair and skin better, presumably DO have to try — to read about people who apparently DON’T EVER have to try. It doesn’t even matter what the story itself actually says; you’re already undercutting it with that choice of cover line.

4) This one might be among the most important: There is NO WAY that is the most interesting thing about Blake Lively, who is from a quasi-showbiz family (her sister is Teen Witch!) and went from Traveling Pants to Chanel in a hella fast period of time and has launched a movie career for herself in which she’s largely well-reviewed. So it seems strange to hope people will buy your magazine by reducing her to the single most annoying celebrity stereotype short of, “I stay fit just by running around after my kids.” A story that listed only the hair products she uses would be more apt to get me to pick up this issue.

5) I think the sans serif font you’re using for some of those cover lines makes Allure look kind of cheap, and also, super wordy — if you’re stamping stuff all over Blake’s MILLIONAIRE HAIR, then at least make the text look nice (I don’t know why I hate it so much but I clearly do).

6) Although Blake herself looks nice and natural, you managed to pick a photo in which her eyes seem a little glazed, in a frightened or shocked way. Imagine if you were at lunch with her, and you announced, “I’m shaving my head, becoming a Scientologist, eating only food that has been cooked by the flame of a burning pile of tires, tattooing John Mayer’s face on my chest so that my nipples are his eyes, and then going back to school to become a professional gun cleaner, AND I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.” You would see this expression on Blake’s face as she listened and nodded and tried to remain impassive while swallowing rising panic as she privately wondered, “Are we good enough friends for me to tell her that this plan is INSANE, or do I just have to nod and support her and then get the hell out of here and text somebody about this?”

7) Unfortunately, people who are not a weird as I am might interpret that look as, “What? You actually DO have to watch what you eat and work out and stuff? Dear God, are you a PEASANT or something?” and that does neither her nor you any favors.

8 ) Her makeup and eyebrows look great. What? I decided to end on a positive.

 

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Well Played, Blake Lively


Yes, this picture is rather blown out — they look like they’re five minutes from being uploaded to Instagram — but you can really see the details of the erstwhile Ms Legsly’s dress here:

It is Gucci, and I think it really works on her — the color is lovely and it’s delightfully shiny without being Vegas-level spangly. Sure, there’s a lot of leg (the dress as originally designed presumably had a couple more inches) but how would we recognize her without them? I’m going to use this to open up a conversation, however. Ahem: Blake Lively is the new face of Gucci’s new fragrance, Premiere, which is a very nice gig for her — and she looks great in the otherwise somewhat typically ridiculous commercial. Leighton Meester, on the other hand, is the face of Vera Wang’s fragrance, which doesn’t seem as prestigious, if only because the ads make it seem marketed to a younger crowd (and also because COME ON, VERA WANG. You appeared in Keeping Up with the Kardashians? GET A GRIP.) Blake has done a ton of high profile movies. Leighton was in that wretched Adam Sandler movie that made me go into such a blackout rage every time I saw the previews that I don’t even want to look up its name. And YET I would argue that Leighton is — both on Gossip Girl, and judging by the underrated Monte Carlo (I know) — the better actress. So what’s the deal there? Do we think she needs a better agent? Is Blake’s smoking hotness just blinding people? It would not be the first time. I want to know what you think is going on.

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