Fugger: Camilla Belle

Met Ball Well Played, Camilla Belle


I LOVE these kinds of pictures from the red carpet, where you can see all the celebs lined up next to each other:

I must confess that before I realized Tim Tebow was Tim Tebow, I was all, “WHO IS THAT HOT GUY?” And then I felt dirty. Jesus doesn’t want me coveting Tim Tebow. Frankly, I feel concerned about this myself. I can’t go Tebow. I mean, I’m sure he’s really nice and I totally support him dating  Taylor Swift — THAT coupling makes sense — but I can’t go ogling Tebow. For one thing, I am one million years old.

I wonder if he was able to resist not ogling Camilla Belle, though:

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Camilfug Belle


This is the part where I note that, even after looking at both IMDb and her Wikipedia page, I am no closer to understanding who Camilla Belle is (aside from 10,000 B.C. Girl, or The Girl Who Dated Joe Jonas But Broke Up With Him Before They Had A Majestically Eyebrowed Baby, OR The Girl Who, Speaking of Majestic Babies, Is Apparently About To Play The Virgin Mary In Something).

This is not a knock on Camilla; more a compliment to her people, who get her invited everywhere, and snag her a bunch of really expensive clothes. Way to go, people. I hope they have a name. Hell’s Belles. The Belleouts. Or… I’ve Got A Fever And The Prescription Is More CowBelle. ANYWAY.

This is just… not working for me. It’s dowdy. It looks like a net full of seaweed. And there’s this weird dark area around where her thighs are crossing and I don’t know if I’m seeing through her dress or if the way she’s standing is creasing the lining and giving her polterwang, but it’s really chafing my furrow. The Belleions did not do their best work this time. On the plus side, though, whoever’s grooming her eyebrows deserves a raise, and she should share.

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Camilla Fuglle


I have made a similar joke before, but I must do it again, because never has it been SO apt:

I am told by the world that Camilla Belle is an actress, but for my money, she’s a serial kidnapper of Arts & Letters grads who leaves them for dead in a well (“It puts the tassel in the basket”) and scalps their mortarboards so that she can wear her kills. Somebody please tell her that hubris will be her undoing. Also, that she should negotiate to star in her own biopic before she lands in the pokey.

[Photo: Getty]

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Who Fugged It More (Or Less): Evan vs Zoe vs Camilla


SPOILER: The Camilla in question is not Ms. Parker-Bowles, which is terribly sad now that I’ve sat here and thought about how AWESOME it would be if she had the same taste in clothes as Marilyn Manson’s ex and the blue girl in Avatar. And NOW I’m sitting here thinking about  how much more I might have liked Avatar if Camilla Parker-Bowles had been in it. Dear James Cameron: You’re still prepping that sequel, right? It’s never too late.

Whose do you like best?

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And which do you like least?

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[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Camilla Belle


I was all set to put this particular look up for a vote, but then I ended up talking myself into loving it:

I think the bottom is a little weird — the beading is amazing, so the ruffles feel superfluous, and also kind of make the dress look hairy, which is not GENERALLY the way you want your dress to look, unless you’re going to a birthday party for Chewbacca — but on this whole I think this is, as Victoria Beckham would say, if we were friends, which we are in my head, MAJOR.

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Fugs and Fabs: Vanity Fair Armani Dinner


Yeah, okay, so this event was a few weeks ago. Sometimes things slip through the cracks, and in my brain, those are Grand Canyon sized. To compensate, I put in Josh Hartnett at the end. Because aren’t you the least bit curious what he looks like lo these many years removed from Pearl Harbor and [insert whatever else he's done since then here]? I didn’t realize I was until he was right there in front of me. Oh, Hartnett. Remember when you were a thing? Where did it all go?

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