Apparently, the Summer of Sony involves a bunch of celebrities going to Cancun to promote their movies, at which point all the women in said films have to get trussed up in cocktails dresses and heel while the men look, you know, like they’re on a beach vacay in Cancun. I’m just saying, if Salma Hayek has to wear Spanx, would it KILL Adam Sandler to put on A REAL SHIRT?
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First of all, I’m going to start with two positive notes: (a) her face is adorable and she’s the cutest, and (b) I want those shoes and I want them now.
But otherwise….
Oh, girl. The last time I saw a patchwork denim dress — albeit one lacking a Louis Vuitton patch, like a Bat Signal screaming, “this ain’t from the Gap!” — it was Free Dress Friday at Westridge School for Girls, and it was 1991.
[Photo: Getty]
So much happened before the Oscars, while we were resting our typing fingers. Specifically, some of these outfits happened to some of these innocent people.
[Photos: Getty]
She is the cutest. When I was sixteen — well, wait. When I was sixteen, it was the previous century and we were all very invested in looking like we didn’t give a shit, even though obviously we very much did. But I think it’s safe to say that Chloe Moretz ranks with the most polished and poised teens of at least the past decade or so. I mean, just look at her:
Those shoes, with that dress, and that beehive? I want to go to there, sartorially speaking, and I have at least mumblemumble years on the kid.
[Photos: Getty]
We haven’t covered Chloe Grace Moretz a ton — I’m not sure why, but I’m sure we’ll remedy it –but for a girl who’s only about to turn sixteen, she has often dressed quite a bit more maturely than you’d expect. That’s why I think this is so refreshing:
It’s super playful, and really young, but also very fresh and stylish, and the stilettos grow it up without sexing it up. I wish I could go back in time and turn myself into the kind of hip teen who could wear neon confidently, but unfortunately, I didn’t pay for expedited shipping on my Delorean so it’s going to take a while to get here.
[Photo: Getty]
Wait a moment. @adamlevine is NOT wearing a t-shirt on #TheVoice. Quick, check to see if Satan is strapping on some ice skates. -H
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Billboard Music Awards Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else
In which I serve you a melange of random celebrities from (close to) the A list, all the way down to… well, let’s just say a place where letters have no meaning.
[Photos: Getty]
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