Heidi Klum’s big bash is on the actual night of Halloween, but we’ve had a couple low-level parties in the run-up to the main event, and the outfits they’ve produced are exactly as you might expect: nudity, bad wigs, and Scott Disick carrying an ax.
[Photos: WENN, Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News]
YES. I knew model Jessica White would deliver at Fashion Week, and we’ve only been here for 24 hours and it already happened:
What unholy bridal lingerie pantsuit IS this? Is she getting married in the Maidenform boardroom and Honeymooning between the spreadsheets?
We saw Jessica at BCBG, but — even in this outfit — the show was stolen by Olympian Sanya Richards-Ross, whose jumpsuit was profoundly unflattering, especially when you consider that this woman rocks the hell out of sports bras and sprinters’ undies every other day of her life.
On a slow first day, we also popped by Honor and bent Josh Radnor’s ear for a bit (I asked him how he felt about his character being the worst storyteller ever, given how many years it’s taken him to share with his kids how he met their mother; his response was: a) “Or he’s a GREAT storyteller, if you like the show”; and then b) “I saw Lyndsy Fonseca the other day and I was like, ‘Wait, when did my daughter grow up?’”).
We further hit up Tadashi Shoji, where we chatted with Spencer from Pretty Little Liars. What didn’t make the cut, for PLL fans: She told us she hadn’t seen the last shot of the finale (no spoilers, I promise) , because they filmed it with several different characters to throw people off the scent. “When I saw that expression [on the person's face] it was pretty gasp-worthy,” she said. And then she said they do indeed still try to give Spencer an animal for every outfit — “We call it Spencer’s Magical Menagerie,” she laughed. “I have owl earrings, elephant earrings… everything.” Fug Nation can vouch for that.
This one has an honorable mention of fuggery for Irina Shayk, whose patchy see-through blue dress is like an Avatar special effect gone bad, but the main prize goes to Countess Von Sleevenstein. That is the Titanic of caftans. It is the Caftanic: massive, doomed to fail, and probably containing a string quartet and a few canoes. That sleeve is so large it could clothe a child. Is there a competing musical collective called the Polymoronic Spree? Because if not, I think we’ve found the charter member.
[Photos: Splash News, WENN]
Man, Jessica White is doing her best to shove into Fug Madness as this year’s “I don’t know who you are, or why I’m supposed to know you, really, and yet here you are all over town looking like The Psychic Friends Network” candidate.
Good luck, Jessica! Although of course you already know how it’s going to end.
[Photo: Getty]
20 photos in gallery
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@lzbtheiae 
Fugsica White
This is not the worst thing she’s ever worn.
But that doesn’t make it right to dress like a paratrooper in the Great Doily Fungus World War of 2013.
[Photo: Getty]
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